Come and Go

Hurm.. I haven't been blogging for quite some time. Finally, at this moment I found something to blog.

Nothing in the world remains forever. People change, friends come and go, government rules and regulations change, even the weather changes. hehe! Few days ago I watched 2012 and the movie kinda frightened me. I was imagining what if I have to face the end of the world, die in the sea, suffocating for air or die like a roti canai. At that point of time I felt that God is really powerful and he can do ANYTHING!!!!!! So we shouldn't take things for granted.

Okay, back to my topic.. Actually I'm kinda sad that my friend have to go. I have this heartache for days thinking and reminding myself that a friend of mine is leaving soon. In life we cannot expect things to last forever but of course all of us have expectations. So we should learn to give and take. Action speaks louder than words, I know! It's so hard to feel happy when the people we appreciate is leaving. We all know that we cannot own everything because God is fair. When He gives you this, He won't give you that. Than to run after something that is ahead of us, why not look back and cherish what we have, right?

I really thank God placed him in my life at the time I needed help. In him, you can certainly feel the love of God. He is always so passionate and energetic in serving God. I'm sad that he is leaving but at the same time I'm happy that he can go out there and help the needy. I have so much more to learn(..shame of myself ^.^"). So never give up in praying and you will see results.

I remembered the other time when a friend of mine left to australia, I went through 2 weeks of miserable life. Oh well.. But now tak de rasa already. hehe!

.....

Life is a joke, the greatest joke ever in the universe. Words are like many many pieces of puzzle. If I'm unable to put the right words together, I can say a thousand words but nobody will understand. Can I say it out when I don't like something, or can I show that I'm angry when I'm angry? I don't know how be a good daughter, a good friend and a good sister. I cannot do things right and tend to create trouble all the time. Even when I'm in the worship team, I feel so useless. I tend to get panic all the time and then make the music practice a disaster. I want to live for myself but I always have to do it for others. I'm also a human, breathing and I need space for myself. There's so many pairs of eyes staring at me. Those eyes are just waiting for me to make mistakes. I know God will never leave me nor forsake me but I need the assurance. I feel insecure, very insecure. I feel like I have no more strength to do anything and I don't want anything. All I want is to sleep because everything is in a mess. But sometimes I don't want to sleep because I feel scared everytime I wake up. I can't find any reason to live happily. Please help me.....

Wah! Haih... Ala.. Haha! Aiyo..

Time flies! Wah!!!! It's the 4th week now, 3 more weeks to go before the new semester starts(since class is starting on the 18th). Holiday is ending very soon. Ala.. I'm still so lazy to do anything. I'll be going back to college soon. I was told that this semester, the classes will be on saturday and sunday. That means I won't be able to attend youth service. Even worst, this sunday will be my first time serving in the chinese service worship team. If the classes are really on saturday and sunday then what to do? How to stop when I just started serving? Oh no.....

It's like one decision will change everything. I feel like now there's so many obstacles in my life. Haih.. The reason why I chose to serve in the chinese service is the earliest but just now I was told that my classes will be on sunday. How la? Honestly, I'm really scared. Argh.. Why I always scared this and that? How to be braver ah? Should I go to an island and live myself? Or don't on lights at night? haha! No matter what I believe there's a reason why God placed me in this situation. So I really need to be strong. Scared also do only. Can wan!!

Now I feel like eating guava la. hahaahah!!!

Appreciation

I'm blessed with so many good friends. I mean.. Really really good friends. =D
I received more than what I'm able to give. Sometimes I don't know what to do. I'm so thankful to have all of you and even more thankful to have God who provides everything. What should I do to show appreciation? I don't know what my friends really need because from what I can see, they have everything.

Let me provide some examples.
Everyone drives me around(I'm not exaggerating...!). Church friends, school friends and even college friends, especially church friends. There's a few times, one of my very old friend, fetched me to church. Just one call and she turned up in front of my house(even faster than calling a cab ok!!! and it's FOC!), sent me to church then go back home without complaints. I know how expensive is the petrol, how valuable is their time and how inconvenient is it, but they still do it. Another example, someone that do not have lots of money always buy things for me and then send it to my doorstep. Tell me what am I supposed to do? I really cannot afford to pay back everything. Sometimes I have to beg her to stop treating me so nice. I am very grateful but at the same time I don't think I deserve all these. Honestly, I feel so embarrassed to just receive without giving. What am I supposed to do? Please tell me....

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To all my friends,
I wanna to say thank you. I appreciate everything single thing that you have done for me and I don't know how to repay all of you. Next time when I have lots of money, I will buy a car and then drive you around ok?(I wonder when will I get a car..). So if anyone of you need my help, please, feel free to came and ask. I will help you as much as I can. I need to say this again....
Thank You So Much!!!

Money again. Sigh..

Yayyy! Nooooo!

Exams are over! And church camp is over too. I wish we could stay longer in Genting. Since I'm so free now, I thought of finding a part time job to get some side income. But I'm still feeling very lazy, I know I haven't been doing anything for almost a week. Life is great when you can sit there and do nothing.

Anyway, I think it's time for me to get a new computer. It is really very troublesome for me to come all the way to mum's office just to use..... "the computer". Two months ago, I paid so much to reformat the CPU and changed the sound card. I remembered how I had to carry the CPU with my friend and I ended up getting muscle ache. After all that, guess what? Now hard disk problem, I don't know what is it but it says "unable to read disk". I know what "unable to read disk" means but I don't know what is the cause. Sigh.. IneedmoneyIneedmoneyIneedmoney!!!!! I need money but I'm not willing to cut down on foooood. Maybe I'm not eating that much anymore but that's not part of my plan! It's a good thing also la. =D

I need money!

The Beginning

Hello everybody. I have decided to delete the old blog and create a new one because it's time for a change. Yeah! God has given me a new life. (the verse "the old has gone and the new has come", something like that la. hee!)

I found the purpose and now I have a dream. The bible says that we have to rely one God and not our own strength. Fortunately and finally I understand what it means. Woo.. Wee.. Thank God! I'm happy for myself eh.. hehe! Happy for me? Now I have a whole list of things to do la, I have wasted so many years worrying and emo-ing. =P ala..

I also wanna thank all the people that were always there for me. Thank you everybody! I will never forget all of you! =D