GwynneLah

One Thing That Makes Life Colourful : Music

2011-05-26T13:16:00.001+08:00

As usual, I love music. I love songs but I don't really know how to differentiate the genre. I can blast the music one whole day and still think I need more time. Haha!! Now I'm listening to the radio all day long for about 1 month, I'm getting bored with the songs. Like my mum said, "this song again? I think the radio station is running out of songs!" I agree though. I know it's normal for music stations to play the same song over and over again because everyone needs to know the existence of those songs. And I thought I found a new interest. =(

Anyway, I'm on 2 weeks leave now! Hehe.. I'm feeling good every morning. I don't have to get out of bed at 7.30. Exam is next week. 24 hours can easily fly away. But I'm still feeling good I'm on leave!! haha!!

I absolutely love this song!!! I love the song and after I watched the mv, I love it even more! haha!!

Regret Kills

2011-05-17T21:20:00.033+08:00

Time and tide wait for no men. So don't wait nor hesitate! Just go do what you want so that you won't regret a thing. Yes.. I'm good at saying but I'm always the first to regret la.. Today is Wesak Day, I'm supposed to be happy on a public holiday but I'm not.. Lately, I did lots of wrong decisions and regret after that.

There's so many but I'll share the latest ones. Two days ago, which is a Sunday. I decided to call up Red FM because few months ago I won Kesha's Remix Album from Red FM but I didn't know I need to call them. Finally I called, very quickly someone answered the call. I was talking to him about the album..... Right before I hung up, he said can I ask you few questions. I said yes, I thought he's going to ask me to rate how much I like Red FM because that's what banks or call centres do, right? But he asked something else..

Him : How old are you? If you don't mind
Me : 23.
Him : So it's 6 years since you left school la..
Me : Yea!
Him : So what do you like about school?
Me : Nothing. (haha!!! I can't think of anything that I like about school because I used to hate school so much)
Him : Why? School is like the best thing. Anyway, since tomorrow is Teachers' Day. Would like to make a shoutout to your teachers?

As usual, I will have all my excuses because I WAS JUST SCARED TO GO ON AIR!!!! I ACTUALLY TURNED DOWN HIS OFFER!!! When he asked "can we call you..........", I was thinking whether was I talking to Rudy or Jeremy. So I got exited and went on asking who am I talking to. He said Ken!! Foolishly I said "oh.. I dont know how you look like". Aiyo..

After I hung up, I switched on the Radio and guess what I heard. "Hey, It's Ken.........!". Oh no.. I was talking to a DJ. I could have talked to Rudy and Jeremy, everyone is hoping that DJs would call them but I rejected the offer.

"He who spends time regretting the past loses the present and risks the future"

~Quevedo

So sad So sad

2011-04-29T21:47:00.000+08:00

This song is so sad.. It almost brought me to tears. Haha!!

End Of The Month

2011-04-28T15:12:00.005+08:00

It's already the end of April. Time flies.. Crazy!! I have been struggling with so many things. I hope everything will be okay after awhile. =)

Anyway, this is a nice song. Once again, Justin Bieber puts a smile on my face. Hehe! It's a nice song!

Sigh..

2011-04-13T22:00:00.003+08:00

"It's Easier Said Than Done". I remember always telling Minee to press on during hard times. Now I know that I didn't help. I can only give her moral support cos that's the only thing that I could help at that moment. There are times when I really felt like giving up but I'll always think of Minee. I know whatever that she's going through is 100 times worst than me. At least when I'm sad I still have my family and friends beside me.

A Step Forward

2011-03-22T21:15:00.003+08:00

Everyone will have their good times in life. And everyone will be given a chance. It's whether you choose to grab it or let it pass you by. That's when you have to decide to take a step forward. Some decisions are hard to make but it has to be made at the end of the day. I'm very sure that I've made my choice and I'm going to do it right to give me a better future. It's not going to be easy but I hope I won't give up half way. =)

I have cleared another 2 papers and that left me with 6 more before I'm over with studies. I have been really busy for a month and this week I'm finally finding some free time but this is not going to last long. I haven't really meet up with any friends. I haven't have the time to catch up with Clement, I guess his doing good in aussie from his facebook pictures. And I didn't have the time to meet Minee when she's back. I'm fully occupied with classes during weekends. Hopefully I will be able to see her the next time she comes back!

Okay that's all for now! I'm too lazy to type more. Haha!!

Really talented boy!

No Promises

2011-03-20T22:30:00.002+08:00

I'll see how long can your lies last

2011-02-18T23:37:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile since I posted up something. Sometimes I don't know who to trust. Lies are all over the place. It happens all the time, what matters is how much that lie hurts! Friends come and go but lies come and don't go. Most of the time I choose not to say a word because I'm just waiting for you to tell me the truth. I don't wanna know the reason and I wish I never discovered those lies. But there's one thing that I don't understand. What is the point of ending a lie and starting another one of the same category then end it again and start it again?? It will just go on and on and on.. It is some kind of entertainment? Sigh..

Anyway, I'm going for a haircut tomorrow. Goodbye long wavy hair.. I guess I'll see you again in 2 years time. Byeee I'll miss you.. Guess what?? My last semester result is not out yet. The waiting period is getting longer every year. It's gonna be 2 months 3 weeks by the end of the week. Hopefully it'll be out by next week. =)

29 01 29 01 29 01

2011-01-29T10:05:00.002+08:00

Today is someone's special day!! Guess who????? It's...

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Adam Lambert's 29th Birthday!!!!!

He a person with a beautiful voice, look, and smile! =D

So stay healthy and happy!!

You will always be the best singer in my heart!

I wish you all the best in your career, produce more albums and win more awards!

I'll always support you!

Take care!!

*HugGsSssss*

If I Die Young

2011-01-20T15:20:00.012+08:00

Clement told me about this song! Very nice country song! But I'm feeling happy and sad listening to it. =')

Make A Change

2011-01-15T21:24:00.000+08:00

There's so much more to do than to follow rules. I wanna break rules but I need more courage! haha.. Or should I say I always wanted to do something weird but I didn't because I wanna save up all the trouble and I didn't have the courage. Now my life is freaking bored cos I'm living the so-called "right way". I wanna try weird stuffs but, again, I need the courage. The most recent example is about my contact lens. I bought a pair of contact lens online, I chose purple hurricane (hurricane pattern + purple colour) cos hurricane sounded good. I thought it would be nice and outstanding. Guess what?? I didn't know they are the extra large size lens. The lense make my eyes look fake. AND I need to do some eye makeup to look a bit better. See what I mean?? The trouble and courage of doing weird stuffs. So, I wanna be weird and I'm weird now but I don't have the courage to walk out of the house, even if I did I'll look at the floor most of the time. Sigh..

Today, I've learnt something more about hard work, faith and confidence. I know nothing comes out of nothing. The simplest example, the only reason why my parents are still paying for my food and all the other expenses is because I'm studying. I'm doing something and that's why I'm getting something in return. Next, faith. Faith means believing in something without seeing it (this is the hardest one). Obviously I don't have that. Finally, I can only be confident if I first learn how to think positively. I'm not an optimist, that's very obvious too. These are the areas that I have to work on a lot. Okay.. I'm gonna keep reminding myself to achieve the above-mentioned qualities.. =)

Back To Work!!!

2011-01-06T12:28:00.001+08:00

Today is already the 6th day of the year! So fast right?? I'm 23 this year. For the past 2 years, I have seen and learnt so much. I have seen the ugly sides of the people around me and I know I have so much more to learn and experience. What I have learnt for the past 2 years is less than 10% of what I needed to learn. I'm always worried about my ability to survive in the society. Oh dear..

Anyway, yesterday I went to Sunway Lagoon with my cousin. It's really the best time to go. hehe!! I don't even have to queue up to try certain rides. Know what's the worst of all? It's the Scream Park! Thank God we were given a lil clue at the entrance. So so scary!!!! So I had the chance to get out of there. If not, I'll definitely faint inside. I'm serious! And the best is definitely water park! Overall, I had a great experience!! =D

Yesterday I had all the fun and today is time to get back to work. I have class later in the evening. Sigh.. I'm so lazy to go, cos with cold weather like that I wish to stay at home and enjoy my evening. Oh well, I can't do anything. I can only hope that today's class will be fun!!!

2010 2011

2010-12-31T20:46:00.006+08:00

Few more hours!! It's gonna be 2011.

I don't have any new year resolutions but there's so

many things and people that I wanna leave behind. =)

Byee 2010 and welcome 2011!!

2011

2010-12-27T16:32:00.006+08:00

New Year is just 5 days away. I feel exited but at the same time I feel nervous. Cos it's new year, new things coming my way. It's a new start!!!! By the way, my friend told me that New Year is the beginning of the month of December 2010, which also means 5 more days is the second month of the year. I'm not really sure but that's what I can recall. I don't really know how to explain though. haha!!!

I just got to know that my classes are starting on the 6th of January (...I thought February!). But I like the timetable this time. I only have one slot of 6 hours class, the rest are either 3 or 4 hours cos the classes are spread out. =D It's good in a way cos I don't have to be stucked in college too long. And the bad news is I have to travel up and down few times a week. Overall, it's okay for me.

Surprisingly, when I saw the timetable I felt like I was all prepared to start studying again! I downloaded my timetable and got it nicely pasted in my notebook. =D I already have the whole plan in my mind. hehe!! I just can't wait to get back to college again.

Since class will be starting in a week time, I gotta plan my Malacca trip again. No worries cos my timetable is quite flexible. I will still be going to Malacca, it's just the matter time. hehe!! Can't wait!!! Everything is just in place for me, looks like the timetable was specially prepared for me. =P the best thing is I will still be able to attend Minee's graduation cos I won't be having any class on that day. Praise God!

Blessed Christmas!!

2010-12-26T10:54:00.043+08:00

I can believe my mum made me wash a chicken! I can't I can't.. Okay actually I can. I knew this day would come but I can't believe it's on Christmas!! Oh Wow!! haha.. I always thought it's a simple task but when I had to lay hands on the chicken, I realized how miserable was my life.. hahahaahah!!

I prepared so many presents to give away on Christmas, birthdays and every other occasions but they are still resting peacefully in my room. I took the effort to prepare all of them but it's always in my mind that people look at the price tag rather than the heart. Sigh.. I can't convince myself that money isn't the point but I'm still and always making presents and filling up closet space.

Anyway I received nice presents this Christmas. I received candy from Cheryl, and 2 presents from Minee.. Guess what?? Mr. Lambert's tour edition album!!! It made my day!! =D =D =D You are so sweet Minee. You always have your way! I slept at 3 am that night! haha!! And the 2nd present is a hand cream. Smells super good, even my mum likes it. hehe!! The presents are nice but what is more important is to be blessed with good friends that know your heart. Do you know why I feel good?? Cos I don't normally get what I want, even if I wanna buy something, I'll think deeply before I purchase it. When I think means there's high possibilities that it's a "no". So when I opened the present, I felt like I was back to my childhood time where I was waiting at the gate and mum came home with my favourite Barbie Doll (the one with wings and bubbles.). It feels good, really! Thanx Minee!! *huGgSsssS*

This is the cover, I downloaded it. =)

I'm seriously in love with Adam Lambert. hee!! My family members and relatives think that he's an alien just because he wears eyeliner!! I'm kinda sad to hear such comments. But it's okay, I'll still support you!! hahah!! Now that I have the album, it makes life easier. I don't have to wait for the videos to load on youtube. I just have to switch on the dvd player and press play. My eyes are glued to the tv and my ears are stuck to his voice all day long (but this won't go on any longer cos class is starting soon. ='/ ). I'm very sure mum is already super duper sick of Lambert's songs. hehe! But what to do? Her daughter is interested, so gotta bear with it la. hahahahaahaahhaaa!!

I lost my my USB cable, so I can't upload any pictures. I don't know where did I place it. Few months ago my earphones went missing, now I lost my USB cable. Sometimes I feel like slapping meself. So I basically lost everything besides my phone. =( haha!!

: )

2010-12-21T10:44:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling so restless and uneasy. =S I'm afraid of whatever coming my way. Honestly, I'm exited about the Christmas Musical tomorrow cos I can meet lots of new people but I'm worried that I won't be able to play my part well. But after this post, I'll stop worrying cos I'm in the process of learning to be an adult. haha!!! Stay calm stay calm!!

I'm now living in my comfort zone. There's so many things that I don't wanna do and there's so many gathering that I don't wanna atttend. But again, I want to be a adult. haha! So I gotta respect others and give in from time to time depending on the situation. =D

Later I will be having an early dinner with 2 friends. I'm excited!!! Both of them are very ambitious, they have their future plans. They will work really hard to achieve whatever they want in life. That's all I can say. haha!!! Anyway I wish both of you all the best as you guys are at the turning point in life. May God be with you!! Merry Christmas!! : )

All In

2010-12-20T17:59:00.002+08:00

Making a fool of yourself to cheer others up is honourable, but making a fool of others to cheer yourself up is self-centered. Those people need to learn how to be more considerate. You may feel like it's funny and others may laugh along, so entertained right??? But how about the person you fooled?? Sigh...

Anyway, Minee's farewell party yesterday worked out well. I'm glad that I helped out cos I'm a person that wouldn't offer my strength and time!! Yaya, lazy.. haha!! I had fun talking to my ex-schoolmates and some other friends. The food was great!! After yesterday, there's so much going on in my head. I'm very upset about some stuffs and people but since I can't do anything, might as well leave them aside and move on with life. I have so much to say, I have so much to explain but I don't like the part where we gotta sit and talk seriously. That's horrible! So just forget about it.

My aim in life is to be happy and I did it, I'm really happy now. But along the way problems have to come my way and I'm still learning how to handle things like an adult. I wanna be a person with high EQ that is able to handle problems calmly. I really wanna master this skill. =D

Well, today I'm really really tired, physically cos it was a long day yesterday. I slept late and woke up late. That's what happen when sleeping disorder takes place although it's only 1 day. hehe!!! But it's worth the sacrifice. =D Sometimes it feels good to be busy though. And today I woke up with my legs and arms hurt, must be muscle ache but I don't know what's the cause. Haha..

Christmas is 5 days away and my brother's birthday is 3 days away. I hope Christmas will be good. =D

December A Beautiful Month

2010-12-18T18:36:00.010+08:00

Yesterday was someone's bigday!! A beautiful, friendly and wonderful daughter, wife and absolutely a great mother!! Happy Happy Birthday!!! And she is.........

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.
.
.
.
.
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My dearest mumy and her younger daughter!!!
Love you!!

Okay, that's me in the picture!! haha!!!
Mum looked about 70% (of course she's prettier!) like what I look now when she was my age and on the left is really my lil sister!!! (I gotta choose a blur picture to hide our differences.) haahahhahaa.. So, just look at me and you'll see her when she was younger..

Okay, I gotta admit that I'm still stuck with Adam Lambert. I'm not sure how many times have I watched, and still watching his music videos, interviews, performances and American Idol journey, etc.. I'm unable to find any other artists that's better or at least compatible to him (This line only applies to Gwynne Kong, which is me.). Each time I passed by shops like Speedy, I'll still have the thoughts of buying his album and the desire to know whether is it still selling in the market. Well, I think it's still selling since he's still not done with the tour. Sigh.. Why la why?? I really want it but I know it's not the right thing to do. Sigh.. Never mind about that, I gotta live with it and I'll get over it soon. : )

I'll be kinda busy next whole week. My cousins from Melaka are here. They will be staying at my place for about a week. I will be taking them to places that they haven't been before. And Minee's farewell party will be tomorrow. I can't wait to help but I don't know what should I help. =) Christmas Musical will be on Thursday and Friday, I gotta help up too. It's really gonna be a busy week but I'm definitely gonna like it. Can't wait for Christmas!! Exited!!!

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle All The Way............. =D

New Plan

2010-12-14T11:12:00.004+08:00

As you all know, vomiting caused a person to lose weight. =/ And yes, I lose some weight. Saddening.. So, yesterday, I started my weight gaining plan. This time I'm doing it in a healthy way. I'll get up 7.30 in the morning and get some exercise. Fast walk about 30 minutes around my neighbourhood, no running cos I don't wanna burn anything. (or should I say that I have nothing left to burn??) haha!!! Then take a nice breakfast. Hopefully I will not give up half way. =) as for lunch and dinner, I'll eat as much as I can slowly.

After so many years, I'm finally gonna help up in the christmas musical in church again cos this year I'm not gonna celebrate Christmas in Melaka. The musical is entitled "Once Upon The End". I have no idea what is it about, no clue! I'm happy that the musical will be on the 23rd and 24th of December. So I'll be freeeeeeeeeee on Christmas!!!!! hehe..

Anyway I discovered another nice song. hehe!! Simple and sweet!

Grenade

2010-12-12T11:52:00.003+08:00

Very nice song!

Message To A Friend..

2010-12-11T17:17:00.007+08:00

It's december!! Few more weeks to go before the year ends!! I believe my visit to Kuantan is not by chance but it's by God's plan. =) I'm glad that I found another good friend.

BUT BUT BUT.. No matter what, no matter how good is that person, there's always someone that is beyond compare. She is...

*tada*

From facebook. hehe!!

It's gonna be 10 years in few month time. WOW!! We are friends for 10 beautiful years!!! I really don't remember when we first met but I was really comfortable talking to her and I liked her. =D I remembered how I had to sneak out my bedroom in the middle of the night just to talk to you on the phone. hehe! And how you got stung by bees because of my crush! And how you pointed to me the shows you wanted to watch in Speedy so that I could borrow them for you!! haha!!!! Love those memories!

When we were younger

You are going Singapore in a few weeks time. The time is about to come. I don't like saying goodbyes but do I have a choice??? So this is the time, I need to learn. =) Singapore is very near, it's not about the distance. What makes me sad is my lifestyle. You are not gonna be there to go out with me or call me from time to time. Itulah.. Before that I take you for granted and now I'm regretting my actions. Okay la actually I didn't take you for granted, just that I'm very laid-back but I'm aware that you are always around me, I'm aware of everything you did for me. I really do!! Woish.. Sounded like my lover!! haha..

"If I'm not a girl (cos I don't want you to be a guy..), I'll definitely, 202%, confirm go after you!!!"

Honestly, you made me understand the quality and the importance of friendship. I'll never ever want our friendship to end. NEVER!!! That's why it's always "family and friends" and never "family and boy/girlfriend" right?? I never thought that someone like me will ever find a true friend. But God is good! =D do you know why I appreciate you so much?? It's because you never gave up on me. You could have stop contacting me 3 years ago since I didn't care, but you didn't. Am I that attractive?? Why didn't you give up? hahahha!!!

Singapore is so near, I'll make sure I visit you, I promise!! I'm not sure where will you be heading to after Singapore. But I wish you all the best in your career!! I'm very sure you will be someone in future!! I hope that you will lead a happy life and find your other half that will be able to give you all the happiness and comfort ever! =D

Typing this post made me wanna cry! T_______T hhaahha!!

Kuantan Trip

2010-12-10T10:55:00.008+08:00

Hello.. I'm back!! Back from kuantan. When I was in Kuantan, I stayed in Rebecca's house!

Rebecca!

(I don't have a picture of her alone she said the lives there so there's no need to take pictures.)

The trip was awesome!!! I took some pictures. Love them!! But I gotta warn you here that the quality of the pictures are bad cos I captured all of them with my phone, only 2 megapixel.. =/ Lemme start from the train station. I took a train and get down at KL Central station. From there I took Monorail to Titiwangsa station. There's where the bus station is situated, it's called Pekeliling Bus Station. I was afraid to miss the bus, since it's my first time travelling alone to another state, so I woke up at 6.30am. Guess what?? I reach the bus station at 8.45am and waited until 10.30am. haha!!! For the 1 hour and 45 minutes, I walked around with my heavy bag pack. So that's how backpacking felt like. Terrible...!!! haahahahaa!!!

When I was already in Pahang, I took some sky pictures. Wait.. This is gonna be a long post. So just sit back and relax!

I love the sky so much but that's the first time I notices the clouds were floating!! ahaha!!

(can't see right?? what to do.. 2 megapixel!)

After about 4 hours, I finally arrived!!! I'll jump straight to dinner!! Rebecca's dad took me to a nice place for dinner, it's at the beach. I didn't take much pictures cos the place was quite dark. Very romantic atmosphere. Anyone wanna get married?? I suggest that you have your wedding dinner there. hehe!! There's only one problem, the place is just a restaurant size. Not big enough to even fit 100 person I guess. Okay, forget about the wedding dinner. It's too small!! I'm sorry I don't know the place name. =8 but it's okay, Rebecca's dad knows. Just let me know if you are interested!! haaaaahahaha!! The food there was good. The tom yum there was the best!!! Very spicy and tasty!!

The place is pretty right???

The place had lots of colourful lamps. =D

Do you know what's the best thing about Kuantan?? It's the beach!! I went to Teluk Cempedak beach for 3 times in 5 days.

Ms. Rebecca taught me. haha!!!!

Ms. Rebecca taught me too! =D

hhaha!

Walking to Teluk Cempedak 2, another side of the beach.

Beautiful.. Teluk Cempedak 2.

I also went into a hotel. The christmas decoration was so nice. Lights and christmas tree everywhere.

That's about it. It's a good trip. Kuantan is a very peaceful place. The air is always fresh.. =D

I had a bad bad sick in Kuantan and it lasted until now. On the 4th day, I kept on vomiting until I had no more stength to walk. I'm not exaggerating okay!! haha!! And I felt like vomiting each time I talk or walk faster. Sound so stupid right? I was extremely slow. ahahaaaaahahahah! I was so sick until Rebecca's dad had to take me to the doctor. The journey back from Kuantan to KL was torturing. I vomited before I board the bus, vomited in the bus and vomited when I reached KL. haahha!!! Suffering.. But I think it's a good experience though! hehe!! Thank God for sustaining me. He gave me strenght to pull through the 4 hours journey and thank God I didn't vomit when I was in the train back home.

Anyway, I'm glad I'm home now. Back to my family and friends. I missed my family and Minee.. =D
By the way, I did a live sketch!! hehe.. Finally I tried. Very tiring but worth it..

Kuantan!!! Here I come!

2010-12-01T20:56:00.003+08:00

Financial accounting was tough! Law was confusing!! Argh!!! But whatever. I'm not gonna think about it anymore. I'M GOING KUANTAN TO MEET MY FRIEND THAT I HAVEN'T MET FOR 11 MONTHS on friday!!! Yay!! I can't wait to go to the beach.. I'm so exited. I'm done with packing and I'm all ready to go!!!! Happiness.. I have already bought the ticket to Kuantan. It's one way. I'm gonna go and not come back!! Since city life sux! I'm just gonna stay there until forever!

Byeeeeeeee everyone. Mum, dad, my brothers, and sister. And Minee, Alvin, Pui Yan, Clement, Andy, Christine, Beatrice, Gwen, Hong Sheng and all of you!! Bye.. Don't miss me.. I will take good care of myself!! Nola. haha!! I'll be there until maybe Monday! Then my friend will be coming over to my place for about 3-4 days. Nice rite?? hehe!!!

Anyway I watched Rapunzel today!! Nice nice movie! I really love fairytale stories cos everyone and eveything is so perfect. And of course it always end happilly. : )

Minee will be coing back on Sunday! Can't wait. But I don't think I can meet her until maybe thursday cos like I said my friend from Kuantan will be staying at my place. I'll be taking her out since it's gonna be her first time here. I gotta take good care of her for that few days. haha!!!!

By the way, I heard that Kuantan is famous for its salted fish!! So salted fish, anyone??? haha!!

I'm Scared

2010-11-28T13:12:00.005+08:00

Very scared!! I'm very scared. Exam is just 2 days away. T______T
I went through the past year paper just now, and I felt like this exam will be super difficult. Sigh... I can't believe I'm feeling like that now. I'm supposed to be calm. Gone la!! Gone... Help! Help!! Today and tomorrow will be plain torture!! Can I hide under my blanket until the examination day??

AdamAdamAdam

2010-11-25T17:58:00.001+08:00

If Adam isn't gay, I won't be interested in him. If he isn't gay, he is no different from any ordinary guy!! Then he'll be another hot and talented artist! Boring.. I wouldn't say that he'll definitely be gay forever, because miracle happens!! But knowing that he's currently not interested in girls feels good cos jealousy will never take place, at least not in my life. Jealousy kills! I know my life is not gonna be miserable if he has a boyfriend in future. I wonder who's the lucky one. : )

Suddenly I feel like getting his album again, now there's acoustic version already. Hmmmm.. I gotta really think bout it. Oh.. God I need a portion of your wisdom. =/

Birthday

2010-11-23T21:30:00.002+08:00

My birthday just passed few days ago. I'm officially 22 years young. Haha!! To me, birthday is just another ordinary day. The only thing is I kembang-ed a bit la cos people around me acknowledged it. hahaaaha!! I'm sure a person will feel sad if his or her birthday is not remembered by anyone. Don't you? I do! Birthdays create some sparkle and it's also a short escape in life. My birthday gave me a day off from whatever I need to do, actually 2 days off la (on my birthday and my birthday eve). hee!!

A friend called up on my birthday. Guess what? He called to discuss about financial accounting and law. What the heck???? Before that know how to wished me on facebook after that??? Tak de fikir ke??? Probably he thought birthday isn't something big compared to exam which is 10 days away. Can't blame him too since he didn't know I took a day off from studies. Aih.. BUT WHY OF ALL THE TIME YOU MUST CHOOSE TO CALL ON MY BIRTHDAY??? CALL TOMORROW CANNOT MEH??? Actually I didn't manage to answer his call so I called back after that. That bloody call made me depressed. Please.. Never ever ever ever do that!!!

Okay forget about sad stuffs. Actually I had fun and I got cool presents from mum, dad, lil sister, brother, Minee, aunt and uncle. And Ice-Cream from Andy!! Thank u so much everyone!! And Hong Sheng, he called all the way from Switzerland just to say Happy Birthday. I'm really grateful to have good family and friends. Although everyone has flaws but I guess nothing is more important than their hearts for me. Thank God thank God thank God.

Anyway Minee is leaving for Australia in one and a half hours time (HI SHAO MIN!!!!!!!). It's a good thing la if not once she call me I go out. haha!! I really really hope she will enjoy herself to the fullest. =D So have a safe journey!! Take care!! *HuGgSsss*

Love The Way You Lie (Part 2)

2010-11-17T21:46:00.001+08:00

I found the nice one!! So I deleted the last post.. hehe! Hopefully they won't block this video.

Enjoy!

: )

2010-11-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

Mission failed. I slept right after I'm done with the last post! haha!!! I couldn't resist the bed, with the perfect weather to sleep (it was raining). I'm not sure how long I slept but the flu was gone once I woke up, I guess it's the effect of the medicine + sleep! =D I'm still tired now, so I guess I will be able to get a good night sleep later.

Guess what? I just signed up for a tweeter account earlier. Guess why? To stalk Adam Lambert. Haha!! Actually nola, I just wanna get his updates. I'm not sure whether is it really him but I guess it can't be wrong. 2 weeks ago, I read this megazine about him attacking paparazzi, and what he tweeted after that. It's exactly the same. So bolehlah, should be correct. Something I don't like about facebook, friendster, or anything that can connect people on the internet. People tend to pretend to be someone else by creating an account using the names of others. Even when I saw my teacher's or my school's name of facebook, I won't add them cos I'm not sure is it really them. I'm not sure about twitter cos I only used it less than 24 hours. So no comment. I haven't tweeted anything and I guess I won't cos I only want updates.

: )

Thankful

2010-11-14T16:32:00.002+08:00

Do you know what makes life mesirable?? It's falling sick. When I was a kid, I always wish that I would fall sick and is has to be fever cos that's the only way mum would allow me to skip school. But now I really hate to fall sick. But I'm thankful that I'm sick now, and not during exam which is about 3 weeks away. Thank God! I feel terrible and super tired but I don't wanna to sleep cos my mind tells me not to sleep. haha!!! I tried sudying but I can't think properly and financial accounting requires lots of concentration. Since I kept getting the wrong figures, might as well forget about it. That explains why I'm here now, blogging, again. I'm just trying to keep myself awake til after dinner. =D

Yesterday, while I was watching videos on youtube, I came across shoking video titles, such as 8 limbed baby to have an operation, 3 hands baby, mermaid baby, and many many more. My heart sank as I began to watch those videos but at the same time I was so thankful. And I asked myself why would God create them like that? I know God has his purpose but the question just came to my mind, natural reaction la.

I gotta learn how to stop admiring those better than me and try to understand those unfortunate ones. Those vidoes once again reminded me to count my blessings. Yeah!!! Praise God!

Reality

2010-11-13T19:11:00.001+08:00

I just came back from Theva and Wensue's wedding. Their wedding made me feel like getting married, I'm sure the wedding has impacted many people. It was in our church's new hall, tomorrow will be the first service. Nice right.. First wedding in the new church and first time the hall was being used. So memorable. It was so grand! Most importantly the couple looked happy, especially Wensue. She was so so so so happy and thankful. She was smiling all the time. And she personally thanked each and every one of us! When they were on stage exchanging their rings, I felt wedding is the best thing ever, but suddenly this thought struck my mind "The wedding is so nice but reality is just right outside the hall". It was exactly how I had a sweet dream but the alarm clock woke me up. I wish the dream wouldn't end so soon but I know it's not possible. So stop dreaming and face reality!

Music

2010-11-10T15:24:00.004+08:00

I'm not interested in facebook anymore. I'm bored of it. Nothing to see and I feel like it's some small kid thing. Every minute someone post something up but I barely see any lines that could capture my attention. Sien.. I have switched channels. No more onlining, chatting and checking out on people. Now I'm a big fan of 92.9, which is hitz.fm.. =D Music, music and music! Maybe it's because the songs nowadays are good!! I remembered there was once almost all the songs on radio tortured my ears.

I was so stressed until I no longer feeling the stress. hehe! Now I'm waiting for exam. I haven't finish studying but it's okay, I have 3 more weeks. I'll study and absorp what I can. When I feel like sleeping, I sleep. When I feel like watching tv, I watch. I'll do what I feel like doing. No pressure! This saturday a couple is getting married in church. Congratulations Theva&Wensue!!!! 3rd wedding for the year.

Pretty Boy

2010-11-04T22:00:00.001+08:00

Adam Lambert is a pretty boy but there's someone prettier than him. Bill Kaulitz from Tokio Hotel.

Nothing in this picture tells me that the person is Bill and not Belle!

.... same goes to this

..... and this is the best of all!!!

Bill's look is a bit sharp and fierce but very attractive. BUT.. but I still prefer Adam. =D

Nelly - Just A Dream

2010-11-03T21:49:00.000+08:00

November

2010-11-03T17:41:00.004+08:00

Look! It's November. To me time is like flowing water and I'm sitting by the river watching how fast it flows. It's in my head all the time. The speed is too fast and I'm unable to keep up with it. I'm struggling and competing with time, actually almost everything. That's what we humans do right? I'm not trying my best but I'm still moving forward. As long as I don't stay stagnant, I'm satisfied. So I'm actually aware of the things that's happening, just that I don't bother. I'm happy being a laid-back person, not forever but at least for now.

Lately, I enjoy blasting music. The louder the better! I love the bass that makes me feel like my heart is gonna pop out. haha!! It takes away all my stress. =D but I don't have a nice speaker. So that goes into the list of things that I wanna buy when I start working in future. When I talk about music, of course Adam Lambert comes in. Last week I checked out his album, he has 2 albums. One is the actual one and the other is the tour album. It's frustrating when both look different but the content is about the same. Arghhh!!! Why? Why? I was considering which one to buy for a few days, and I have decided. My decision is I will not buy any of them. Knowing myself very well, yes I want the album now, at this moment but it's totally a different feeling once I own it. Wanna bet??? RM100 or RM200??? I'm very sure I will be "oh, yay!!!" for maybe few hours and after that what? I'll listen to it for maybe a month while I will still be watching mv on youtube. Then..... RIP in the drawer for the next few years until I wanna use you again. I already have so many cds currently resting peacefully since 2004.

The main reason that I'm attracted to Mr. Lambert is not so much of his songs. It's his performance and look that take my breath away. So no point buying cd since I watch his mv on youtube everyday (hopefully I will be rational when I go shopping again! haha!) It's like banana boat desert. Banana is good, but eating banana alone doesn't taste as good as eating is with chocolate, strawberry and vanila ice-cream, with some colourful icing, cheries, chocolates and everything nice.YUMMMMMY!!!! So that's how I became Mr. Lambert's fan. He is always with his lebih-lebih actions (according to minee), I felt like that at the beginning but that's how he caught my attention. Not many people can do that, especially male artist. So yeah, keep it up and I'll be your faithful fan without purchasing your album! hehe!

Today is the 3rd, 26 more days to my finals. I'm not feeling so stressed up anymore. 26 more to go and I can have my break. =D

Dream = Wake up call

2010-10-30T10:41:00.000+08:00

The house is empty. I just woke up and the only thing I wanna do is blog, that why I'm here. I don't remember when was the last time I woke up and realized that everyone was not at home. 6 monts ago?? It feels good though. It's so free. I'm not saying that I don't like my family members to be at home. Just that once in awhile, I wanna be alone. I'm sure everyone feels the same way. Last night I had a dream and I woke up feeling so disturbed. Something to do with friendship and stuffs that I never imagined could happen. I'm not gonna go into detail about my dream. I'm not gonna thank God that it's just a dream because I know my dream could come true. I'm always prepared for the worst, but this dream reminded me something, so what if I'm prepared? Yes, I can think of the worst situation but I'm not God. What I can think of is just one small portion of what God can do. So whatever!

My Observation

2010-10-25T18:39:00.000+08:00

I have been watching so many of Adam Lambert's videos on youtube, from his audition until his performances. I realized that he has a very good keyboardist. Others are also good but I'm focusing on the keyboardist. She has to control 3 instruments which is electric piano, keyboard and I think one more is called bass keyboard (I'm not sure about the name, it's a cool thing!!) and she is a backup too!! 4 in 1!!!! WOW!!! I normally don't bother about musicians, I'll only fix my eyes on the lead singer but this time she really captured my attention. He definitely has a good band. They are so professional, I mean yala, he's recognized internationally, of course everything must be good. 5 person in one band. All well-trained. Simple and good! =D only IF I'm one of Adam Lambert's band member. Dream on dream on............

I started studying again. Guess how?? I will load lots of my idol's video and I will download past year papers. Study and watch! haha!! Hopefully it works la. Better than nothing right? =P

T______T

2010-10-23T18:38:00.008+08:00

I feel like shit all the time. When I'm at home, I feel like shit. When I'm out, I feel like shit.. I think just sit at the doorstep la. Even at the doorstep I feel like shit. When I eat I feel like shit, when I look into the mirror, lagilah I feel like shit. But there's only one time I don't feel like shit. It's bedtime. Mum says I'm too free, and the rest of my friends say I stay at home too much. What am I gonna do?? When I'm at home, I don't feel like studying, I'm feeling like that since the past 2 weeks. That basically means I haven't been studying for 2 straight weeks. Actually nola, I did read 3 pages of financial accounting and 4 pages of law. I remember cos it's past year questions. And when I'm out, I'm worry about studies. I feel like going out but I don't feel like living home. Oxymoron.

Almost everything make me feel like shit. I know la, cannot be healed. Aih.. Gotta live with it. Someone once wrote something to me. "Everyone has his BURDEN.. What counts is how you CARRY it!" Yeah, I know I'm no different from a piece of shit. That line, very true but it didn't help. I'm extremely afraid of failing exams but I can't focus. It has been so many years since I last felt like that. I was from 5. That time I didn't know how to study and pass physics anymore until I'm so afraid to go sit for the exam in school (thank God it's not SPM). In the end I still went and I still failed, the only time I passed physics was SPM though. I will never forget the moment when my physics teacher announced "Semua lulus Fizik kecuali Gwynne Kong!" I really felt so embarrast. That explains how stupid I am when it comes to something that requires full understanding and numbers. That's how I felt each time I tried to study financial accounting. Terrible! Horrible!

Anyway, about Adam Lambert. He's so perfect to me. Very charming. He has talent too, nice voice and he can reach an amazingly high note as a guy. Go listen "What Do You Want From Me" or American Idol 2009 if you want prove! The fact that he's a gay attracts me more. I like you because you are gay, Adam, and I like you more because you are proud of it!!!! He's the hottest gay anyway! =D Now I know how it feels like to have an idol. 3 of his songs are stucked in my head "What Do You Want From Me", "For Your Entertainment" and "If I Had You". I'm crazy!! I watched this 3 music videos for, I don't know how many times and I'll still be watching them. I like him so much but I know I'll never own him. NEVER! He can influence me, for example to wear eyeliner. That's idol. That's how it feels. It's not a good thing but what to do, I'm in!! Now I want his album. Crap, I'm back to teenage life! So now all the high school stuffs came back!

Life . Dream . Hope .

2010-10-21T21:24:00.014+08:00

No life, no dream, no hope.
No meaningful life, no dream came through, nothing to hope.

Why still alive? No guts to commit suicide.
Why no guts to commit suicide? Not sure about ending up in heaven.
First reason to stay alive?? Get conformation about ending up in heaven.
Second reason to stay alive? Living for others.
Why living for others? Received too much, need to pay back.

If that is so, it's really miserable.
Die cannot, don't die cannot. Plain torture!!

Adam Lambert

2010-10-21T17:28:00.014+08:00

I'm in love with Adam Lambert ever since I watched his latest music video, "If I had You". The fact that he's a gay doesn't bother me at all. I watched videos regarding his interviews. I was trying to find evidence from him and I found! "I'm gay and I'm very comfortable with it....". I'm impressed!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bETvh7slAQQ&feature=rec-LGOUT-exp_fresh+div-1r-6-HM (at 1:31)

Homosexuality isn't an issue to me. Maybe last time, now not anymore. Really. It's their choice, I don't have the right to comment. He's wild but so what?? I don't get goosebumps when I see pictures of Adam Lambert kissing a guy, I was like, "WOW" instead. It's all in our head. If we wanna "yer", then it'll turn out to be "yer".

He looks so soooo sexy with eyeliner. The power of makeup! I never liked guys in eyeliner, so I guess eyeliner loves him. If one day anyone of you bumped into me and realized that I'm wearing eyeliner, you know why la! hhaaha!!

Rain

2010-10-19T17:00:00.001+08:00

Why am I here again? Because I'm so reluctant to revise my subjects. The book is right in front of my face but nothing goes into my head. This is bad! Taking the first step is a super difficult task. Flipping the page is so difficult but reading the first line is even harder. Hmph!!! Arghhhh!!HelpMePleaseHelpMePleaseHelpMePlease!!!!!

Last week I was going to go out and play under the rain, but when I told dad he said "don't la, you'll get sick". So okay lo.. I stayed in. But now I really wish it'll rain. I'll be the first to rush out. Look at the weather. Not hot not cold, very sfuffy. That explains why I'm feeling the same way. So please, rain!!!!!!

Rain, please come, refresh me!!!

Rain down on me,

Here in Your presence I'm free,

Pour down like rain,

come and touch me again,

Lord let Your presence fall on me.

- Rain Down by Planetshakers

Title

2010-10-19T11:51:00.003+08:00

I was looking at my blog and I find it dull. I thought of changing the profile picture but I couldn't find any nice picture of myself, every picture was taken with a human. That shows that I'm not alone right?? hehe.. Praise God!! I was thinking about life yesterday (ya.. I know I'm always thinking about life) and I came out with a conclusion. Fear is part of life, than to always acknowledge that we are afraid of this and that, sometimes is best to just hide it somewhere deep inside you and move on. People always say the best solution is to face our fears, but some fears just won't go away. Than to always think about it, why not leave it aside right?? Time waits for no men, but time can change men. Lama-kelamaan, lupalah tu! There's consequences to "lama-lama lupalah tu", but whatever needs to happen will eventually happen.

Anyway I love this song!! I can faint at 3:48!! hehe!!

Happy Birthday Min Ee!!

2010-10-18T23:01:00.001+08:00

Hello.. I would like to dedicate this birthday post to a very very very good friend of mine, Ms. Min Ee.

It's her 22nd birthday this year today but we celebrated for her yesterday. It dinner wasn't a surprise but it became a surprise cos she didn't know Jin Tat, Stephen, and Wee Ping will turn up! It's a last minute thing but I'm glad that they made it, without them things wouldn't be that good! We had korean food in Doerae, taipan!

I like this friend very very much. Her kindness level is way too high. I'm really blessed to be her friend. I have too much to say until I don't know what to say. You know, I know can already, right Minee???? =D

So I'll let the pictures do the talking about the celebration yesterday. And of course, I curi-ed the pictures from facebook. Enjoy!!!

1st cake for the night, during the dinner.

Alvina, Yap, Minee, Wee Ping & Me

Stephen, Andy, Minee & Jin Tat.

I guess he's Doerae's boss.

2nd cake for the night.

See, she was surprised!!!!! Mission accomplished.

*THE END*

My good friend's BiG Day!!

2010-10-18T13:13:00.004+08:00

It's has been so long since I last stayed up til so late. I slept at 4 this morning and woke up at 9.30. Today is my good friend, Minee's birthday. We celebrated and gave her a surprise at 12.10 midnight. The whole thing was so adventurous. How we gotta tell the guards that they cannot call her house because we were gonna give her a surprise, how we sneaked into her house, how Andy tried to delay the time, how we hid under the tree, how we avoid being seen by Chocolate, how we lighted the candle squating down in the dark. It's like a mission. Haha.. I enjoyed it so much!!

Besides that, I met a new friend and catched up with few of my ex-schoolmates. Everyone is special in their own way. As for my Mr. New Friend (I know you read my blog.. You are not a good liar!! hehe!), he gave me a very good impression and he's very down to earth. Talking to him feels like I'm talking to an older version of Clement.. hehe!!! As though I knew him 10 years ago. Same down to earth attitude and same not-so-happy-ness. I may be wrong but that's what I felt about you. No offence! Mr. New Friend = Clement, and vice versa. Muahahahhahahhah!!!

Everyone around me is trying their best, and giving their all to live. Life is so busy. We are still young, everything is waiting for us. The road is still long and they will make it til the end, at least I know they tried. Some say that studying life is always very miserable, lifeless. Some say that working life is very boring. I don't wanna make up my mind on things like that, I just wanna live life the way I want. I might enjoy my working life. Who knows?? One thing that is important in my life now is to graduate. I doubt that I can make it til the end. But like Jin Tat said ".. sure graduate wan, see when only." That's very true. So ya, I'm just gonna go with the flow.

That's all for now. I'm gonna go out with my sweetie, Min Ee. Jangan jealous! haha!!! Byeeeeeeeeeee!!!

S . H . I . T

2010-10-16T18:10:00.002+08:00

S . H . I . T .

Suffocating . Half-witted . Irritated . Tired

If I'm a bird, I will fly to the clouds.

But I'm not.

If I'm a bird, I will fly up up the highest mountain.

But I'm not.

If I'm a fish, I will swim to the deepest ocean.

But I'm not.

If I'm a fish, I will not leave the sea.

Of course I can't.

I don't have a choice nor do I have a way out. So many things are meant to be done by me. Back to square one.

Don't hide anymore, please....

2010-10-15T17:39:00.002+08:00

Where are you?

Do you know how much I miss you?

I have been looking for you for so long,

but I still haven't find you.

My heart breaks each time I think of you.

Please, please don't hide anymore.

Please, my dear earphones.

COME OUT LAH!

Yes, my earphones has gone missing for weeks. I searched my room over and over again and I still don't see it. I looked all over the place, in the kitchen, the laundry room, and all the drawers that I think it will be kept. BUT I STILL DON'T FIND IT. =/ I know it'a at home but dunno which part. There's 5 phones at home(excluding mine) but none can fit my phone. Guess why?? Give you 5 seconds.. I know I'm lame but I can't help it...

Time's up!!

Cos I'm using a different phone lorh, all Nokias but people use Classic I use XpressMusic.

I was reading somebody's blog and I miss somebody. I wish our conversation could last longer. I was gonna give up until somebody talked to me. Why??

MOnday Blues

2010-10-11T23:24:00.004+08:00

I'm in a dilemma.. Can't decide on whether to volunteer for PD lifegame. There's too much for me to catch in my studies, especially financial accounting. Being a volunteer means I have to be at PD one day earlier than the participants, which makes it 5 days. I can't stop thinking about my exam and how am I going to make it for this paper. I called up a few of them for advice and finally I decided not to go. Today I didn't revise anything, I wasn't in the mood. So I decided to finish up the dvd series that I have been watching, Moonlight Resonance. Yes, I know it had been out for years but what to do? People like me don't have astro at home. No matter is it part 1 (Heart Of Greed) or part 2 (Moonlight Resonance), it's still that GOOD!!! I feel like watching the whole series one more time but I guess I don't have that much time to waste, since it has 40 episodes for part 2. Even though the whole series consists of 40 episodes but I don't find it draggy at all. I love so so much, either part 1 or 2, because no matter what happened, it still ended well. =D I dislike sad endings though.

Anyway, I have 2 more classes to go, tomorrow and wednesday. Time flies and I feel like it's getting faster. No matter how scared and worry, we still have to face everything that's coming because that's all about life. I went to church yesterday and I'm really thankful for our dear cult pastor in lifegame, Mr Hong Sheng. haha!!! He's been so nice to offer me a ride to church and back home. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!! Although I don't feel nice taking people's favour but I'm really grateful for his kindness! Thank God so much!!

Giving is better than receiving. But I'm receiving more that I'm able to give. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, I afraid to receive anymore. I wanna do something for those who have done so much for me but how?? If I'm gonna buy a gift or make something, I don't know what they like, not all but most of them. People always say "it's the heart that matters" but I think having the heart is not eveyrthing. So what if I have the heart but I end up getting them something they dislike? What's the point of it? yThe last time I wanna bake cookies for someone as a token of appreciation but it didn't turn out well, very disappointing. I did it twice and I failed twice. And I don't have the time to bake now, at least not until the end of November. But don't worry, I have my plans!! =)

Sometimes I feel like I'm complaining too much in my blog. But what to do? Since I have decided not to complain so much to my friends, then blog shall be my alternative. If anyone of you is gonna read and find me annoying, don't read la. That simple. That's it for today!

Adios!

Just a short post

2010-10-09T22:31:00.001+08:00

It's a Sunday tomorrow, again.. Sigh.. It's a day that everyone of us should be excited about but I'm not feeling good. Alright, lets not talk about this. Yesterday someone told me "religion only can guide us but God is the only one that can change us". Something like that.. This phrase actually triggered my senses. I don't really know what I wanna say today but I just feel like posting something up. I can't wait to go to Malacca again. Thinking about my life in Malacca can make me smile all day long. =D yeah, it's that good!! If the cause of happiness can be measured, I would say that the place gives me 30% happiness and the rest of 70% comes from my relatives.

So Malacca, I'm coming!!!! =D

The Truth

2010-10-03T19:56:00.000+08:00

Today's service is in the new building. Immanuel came down from Malacca and SJAOG is the first church he visited and he sat beside me!! Feel so honoured. =) my socializing skills are getting worse each day. I was really happy when I saw him entering the door, but didn't know what to say. I guess it's because I asked everything that I had to asked and knew everything that I had to know through facebook. That's why la, because of facebook things became so weird. Hmph! Anyway, "Welcome to the House of God Immanuel"!!!

Honestly, I'm losing my confidence in church. I don't feel the sense of belonging in church anymore. The bond no longer exists. I feel like a stranger each time I stepped into a church that I have been attending all these while. I only feel comfortable with a few of them. Someone told me "just open your mouth and talk your way in". How to talk like a family member when I feel like a stranger?? Or I'm the problem? Whatever. What's worst is I cannot drive to church, so I had to tumpang up and down. It's very very embarassing to ask for favour all the time. I feel like shit each time I had to call up or text my friends to ask for transport. Now I'm too embarrast to even accept someone's offer! Everytime I think of it I feel like hiding under my bed! T______T

I really have the passion for all the people that feel left out. I want to be there for them but I don't know where to start. I just gotta accept the fact that, "either you can be seen or you are transparent". If I have a choice I really really don't want to stay in the developed city. I told mum that I wanna go work in Malacca once I graduate, since I like that place so much and I have relatives there. But she told me that the pay there is lower but the living expenses is about the same in KL. I don't really care about the pay, I only hope that life can be a bit simpler. I wonder how am I gonna survive in future. I really gotta trust God and walk by faith.

Yeah, God is good!

No title

2010-10-02T16:50:00.000+08:00

Finally I found time to blog something. This whole week I actually travelled up and down to college for 5 times. It was exhausting and I had backache, probably because my bag was too heavy. No matter how little I bring, my bag was and will always be heavy. haha!! I'm actually very sleepy now but I refuse to sleep. Each time I can sleep, I began to feel like I have lots of things to do but when I cannot sleep (i.e. during lecture), I wish the bed was just beside me.

Few days ago, I was chatting with me ex-collague on facebook, I shall call him N. We were chatting and chatting and and finally N told me "..that's why la you are losing your friends. You need to know how to balance up your life. It's important to study hard but you need friends because what's important when you start working is network". There's so many things that we have to do and we can do for future benefits. And socializing is totally not something I like doing. I know the use of it but I really don't want it to be an issue in my life. Whatever.

I remember having this conversation with Christine last week.

Me : How good if I can sleep and don't get up tomorrow. =)
Christine : How sure are you that you will end up in heaven??
Me : Ya hor..

If I can die just like that and confirm end up in heaven of course it's good la. Then I have nothing to worry anymore. But I know and believe we will reap what we sow. So I better stop thinking about death and start doing something meaningful in life. Ahh.. I'm blogging all over the place. I'm really too tired. I better go get some sleep now before the surprise birthday party tonight. Byeeee..

4 words kills

2010-09-27T18:44:00.045+08:00

I promised myself not to complain anything about myself physical appearance anymore. But today I shall take a day off.. Just now I went to summit, and I went to that tidbits stall. When aunty saw me :

Aunty : Hou loi mou kin (translation : long time no see)
Me : Hai ah.. (t : yalo)
Aunty : Lei sau jho wo (t : You lose weight), lei geh min sau jho (t : your face is thinner already)
Me : Hai meh? (t : really meh?)

The biggest thing that I don't like about myself is being stick thin! (that's why something called "opposite attracts".). And when I lose weight, my face will show it all. I don't like this at all.. If lose weight also don't la start from the face! Only if I could choose. I can't deny that I have cut down a lot on food, almost 50%. I dunno when this started but it just happened, I didn't go on diet. Probably I'm too sick with food, I need something new.. Sometimes I would rather eat fruits for lunch! I still eat when I have to eat, 2 meals a day because all these while I only take a cup of milk in the morning and before I sleep. I did ask mum from time to time whether did I lose weight, and everytime she will say "nola, you didn't lose any weight.". There's only 2 explainations to mum's answer:

1. Mum told a white-lie cos she knows very well that I'll get upset by the truth.

2. She really thinks that there's no difference because she sees me everyday.

Both the points proves that mum is not guilty of an offence against her daughter. haha!

I tell you, when people come and tell me that I have lose weight, it's sadder than discovering that I lose RM500. It's that depressing to me. Although I can get over it very soon, but it's still very disturbing to get comments like that. "Lei sau jho ah", just 4 words and it's enough to spoil my day!!! SO NOBODY SHOULD SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT ON MY WEDDING DAY EVEN IF I REALLY LOSE WEIGHT, if I ever get marry la! Say it after the whole ceremony or just don't comment! "chen mo shi jin" (direct translation : silence is gold).

I know it's a way to prolong a conversation, but sometimes it's very hurtful. 4 words like "I don't love you" or "You are so ugly" or "You are so irriatating" can make a person commit suicide wan le. Of course I won't commit suicide because people say that I'm thin! That's why most of the time I choose not to talk so much to a person that is not close to me. I know I'm a very straight forward person.

To everyone out there, I'm so sorry if I have ever said something that hurt anyone of you.
Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorrys sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
(i typed okay, no copy and paste).

I don't mean it but I'm like that aunty la, talk too much!!

"kong tor cho tor" (d t : talk alot wrong a lot).

I have kearnt my lesson.

From this minute, I will talk lesser so that I won't hurt anyone unintentionally.

I can't promise anything but I'll try my best.

"If you are fat be grateful, if you are thin be thankful". Jie jie Irene told me before. It's a very good one. This time I'm saying all these because I'm so disturbed by the 4 words but I'm still very grateful to be physically thin, at least I don't look super duper skinny. Each time I'm depressed about how I look and when I'm ungrateful for things like, "why I don't have blue eyes?" or "why am I not as pretty as those actresses?", I will remember 1 Samuel 16:7 and keep telling myself that inner beauty is more important than anything else.

So remember, when you are happy, PRAISE GOD, when you are sad, PRAISE GOD!!!
(edited from the movie "Facing The Giants")

Pictures

2010-09-27T12:44:00.000+08:00

I have a boring blog, I know that. I seldom upload any pictured cos I'm lazy! haha.. So I'll upload all the pictures I have taken for the past few months at one go, only the nice ones la! hehe.. Enjoy!!!

#1 Mid-Autumn Festival

Yes, there's only 2 of us celebrating Mid-Autumn Festival.. We played candles and lanterns at the car porch. But we enjoyed!!! The moon is really round this year, or this is the first time I'm being observant? Actually no la.. My sister told me about it wan. hahahahha!!! Nothing is better than celebrating this festival with family members. Agree?? =D

#2 Ms. Ginveree's 10th Birthday Celebration

So cute right?? My dear friend Minee gave her! So comel la.. Just like her!

Everything about this lil girl is so lovely and adorable to me. I just realized that I only took the cake pictures before I put the candles and after I remove them. The rest of the pictures are with my brother. So can you guess her age?? RM10 as the reward! She's 10!!!! (Ok.. I know I'm lame.. I'm sure you have read the title.)

#3 Random

Ms. Ginveree curi makan-ed my cookie, thinking that I won't be able to see her. Hahha! So adorable right???

Yaya.. I baked. Should be grateful that someone still wanna curi makan. haha! But of course this is not edible.

Yup!!! Lizzarddddddddd.. I touched it!!! It's not that slimy and disgusting. Guys are normally afraid of lizzard. But you guys should try touching and you will find it loveable. haahahahhaha!!!

My brave lil sister.. But I think at the lizzard finally died and I don't know why. Byee Lizz, RIP!

When I'm depressed..

Lil sister cooked it!! =D

Saw that polistyrene cup? Vincent bite it slowly until it became like that. But it's nice though.

Her expression is always that cute! =D

That's about it.. I can't find anymore pictures, as you know my life is not happening. I'm gonna go meet up with my ex-form 6 friends later. I'm quite reluctant to go out but I can't find anymore excuses to say no. I really wanna meet them but I hope we can have the meeting in my house. hahahaaha!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HAVING A SMALL AMOUNT OF STUDENTS???

2010-09-24T23:40:00.006+08:00

I'm very upset with the my college's management and even more upset with my course! The course I'm taking is the last thing my college will take into consideration. I was having weekends classes and I loved it. I just received a call from my friend saying that tomorrow's class has been cancelled. I'm surprised that I didn't feel good(proved that I've CHANGED to a better person! hehe!). Then I called my lecturer to confirm, and I received more bad news. Yes, tomorrow's class is confirmed cancelled, what's worst is ALL MY CLASSES HAVE BEEN SHIFTED TO WEEKDAYS!!! Initially, it was 2 in one, 2 classes in a day for one subject. Now leh.. One class a day!!! Guess what's the reason?? We have too little students, approximately 10 students per class. So the management is in the opinion that we are not utilizing their resources fully(because one class can fit about 30 students!!). So they decided to let bigger group of students use the class, since they are running out of classes on saturdays and sundays. Therefore, our classes have been shifted to weekdays, AT NIGHT 6.30 to 9.30! Just like before. When everyone has gone home, our class starts! How pathetic!!!

CONS :
1. Increase in cashflow!!!
Initially
Train : RM 3.20 (2 ways) x 8 days = RM 25.60 per month
Parking : RM 3 per day x 8 days   = RM 24 per month
Total                                              = RM 49.60 per month

Now
Train : RM 3.20 (2 ways) x 16 days = RM 51.20
Parking : RM 3 per day x 16 days   = RM 48 per month
Total                                                = RM 99.20

Increase in Cashflow = RM 49.60 (RM 99.20 - RM 49.60)

2. Decrease in free-time
I have to travel up and down each time I have class.
Travelling time per week= 120 minutes (to and fro) x 8days = 960 minutes / 16 hours per month
New travelling time per week= 120 minutes (to and fro) x 16 days = 1920 minutes / 32 hours per month
Total increase in travelling time per month= 32 hours

That means my free-time has decreased 16 hours in a week!

3. I'll miss tv dramas. I don't have astro, means no replay!!!!
That's it la.. Life is getting less fun!

The worst of all,

4. I NEED TO REORGANIZE MY LIFE AGAIN!!!!
I have all the plans. Now I gotta forget about it. I even thought of signing up as a volunteer for lifegame, but it seems like I will be having classes during PD Lifegame that's coming up in November!

Okay, I can't deny that there's also pros to this!

1. I can meet my friends more, so I can ask them whatever I don't understand. Before that I'm quite worried because there's only 3 more weeks of classes. Now 6 more weeks. It's a good thing since I have loads of questions about financial accounting.

Lets put it the other way!! Ordinary shareholders are the last group of people to get their dividends, dividends are paid to the prior ranking shareholders first. If the company do not make enough profits, ordinary shareholders will not get their dividends for that year. But for us, we are not as pityful as them, although there's not enought classrooms(profits), we still get out classrooms(dividends), just that we always get the leftover slot. I know la, shareholders and classrooms are two different thing. It just came to my mind. =)

In church ~ Leftout group
In college ~ Get the leftover classroom
At home ~ Last to get allowance (not all the time but most of the time!!)
In the train ~ Barely get to sit, stand all the time because I'm not fast enough to get a sit.

Everything last, but one thing I'm always first, TV! That's all for this post, I'm gonna go watch tv! Byeeeeeeee..

Pros & Cons of Facebook

2010-09-20T15:58:00.004+08:00

Lately, I'm always logged into facebook. So I shall list down the pros and cons of facebook!

Pros
1. I can view somebody's picture.
2. I can get connected to my friends. Not so much of an anti-social now.
3. I have something better to do rather than rotting.
4. Because I'm already online, I will visit some websites to find some stuffs to read.(I'M ACTUALLY READING!!!)

Cons
1. Wasting time. I don't spend much of my time studying already. (If I fail, I deserve it!!!!)
2. Not productive because I view the same thing over and over again.
3. I realized there's so many people out there that are going through depression that makes me feel like it's so okay to be depressed. Bad influence!!!!!
4. I'm getting more and more depressed viewing somebody's picture!!!

As you know, I'm not very knowledgable and creative, therefore I can't think of anymore points. It's a tie. So how ah? Somebody please think of one more cons for me!!! So I'll have a solid reason not to spend too much time on facebook.

By the way, I'm still thinking whether should I volunteer myself for the lifegame that's coming up in November. If I'm able to handle the balance sheet, income statement and cash flow statement one month from now then I'll go. So please pray that God will grant me wisdom!! Cos I really wanna go!!! Please please..

Okay.. I should get back to work! Byeeeeeee..

Appearance

2010-09-20T11:02:00.013+08:00

I keep on blogging until I dunno what's the purpose of it anymore. I'm just sharing how miserable and boring is my life to whoever reading it. (I bet tak sampai 5 person!) Aih.. Conversation with my mum last week..

Me : Mumy, first impression very important wan hor? Especially our looks?
Mum : Of course, because the first thing people can see from you is your looks ma.. You don't expect them to be able to know your attitude when you all just meet.
Me : Then you leh? (cos I know my mum is pretty!)
Mum : Last time when I was working in the company, I usually get better treatment, I'm not showing off but you have to know that the world is very realistic.
Me : Aih.. How come I'm not prettier or hotter or maybe at your level?? No wonder la I'm always transparent..
Mum : How pretty you want to be? Like that still not enough meh?
Me : Of course I wanna look like prettier than I'm currently.
Mum : I better take you the diasbled people center more often, then you will be grateful for what you have. And looks is not very important, having good life in future is more important! But if you have good looks with bad attitude also no use!

Actually I know everything. Looks is just temporary but I always care so much about outward appearance. Now I don't look down myself so much but I still hope to be like some other people out there! One word : UNGRATEFUL. Sometimes I feel that I don't look too bad but sometimes I feel so ugly!!! It's seasonal. Finish la.. I confirm gonna stuck with depression for the rest of my life!!!!

But the Lord said to Samuel,

"Don't judge by his appearance or height for I have rejected him.

The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them.

People judge by outward appearance,

but the Lord looks at the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7

16 Always be joyful.

17 Never stop praying.

18 Be thankful in all circumstances,

for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Happy Belated Beatrice Boey and Christine Khaw

2010-09-19T22:24:00.004+08:00

This is a post dedicated to my dear friends Beatrice and Christine which had their ** and ** (shhhh.. girls age are the biggest secret!) birthday on the 15th and 16th of September! I know I'm a lil late but I didn't thought of it until an hour ago. It better late than never right. I'm not sure if Beatrice will read but Christine will definitely not cos she doesn't even know my blog existed!!! But I'll still carry on!! Lemme start by recalling back how I became their friend. I shall start with Christine, since I met her first. Btw, Beatrice and Christine, if you think you will feel super gam dong, please prepare a box of tissue paper before you start. But I bet they won't la.. As if la I can write so well. -_-" Okay.. Lets begin!!

I curi-ed from facebook!

I saw her a couple of times in church many many years ago with her red colour Kenari. That's all I know! And I remember seeing her in the basketball court. That time I was like, "Cheh" cos there's a flower on her left ear, if I'm not mistaken. And she's hot!!! Yaya, I know I was just jealous!!! Yes Christine, YOU ARE STILL HOT!!!! At that time I didn't like any girlie stuffs. BUT I'VE CHANGED!!! That the story la.. Then I dunno how we officially became friends and closer and closer and closer. I know I'm am bad friend cos I don't normally remember things like that. But one thing I remember, we are always the ones that feel leftout all the time. I guess "I feel leftout" are on our foreheads, that's why we can detect each other. Okay, I created that. Lameness~ Anyway, Christine has been a very nice and loyal friend to me. I can't help it but to say that she's very "sisterly" better than "motherly" right? haha!! She always make me feel protected although sometimes she can be quite strict. She cares for me and catch up on my life from time to time. I'm really touched by that. Even though she's really busy with her work now but each time she sees me, she never fail to take the effort to catch up with me. One thing that I need to learn from her is discipline! I can truly say that she has a high-level of discipline! IF NOT HOW TO BE TOP STUDENT?? Not only that, she's also very committed to everything she does. I like that! Continue to do your best and shine for God!!!

Alright, lets move to Beatrice!!!

I actually don't remember when was the first time we met but she used to be the girl that I wanna stay away from in church. She is hyper all the time. Honestly, I didn't like her at all at the beginning (I'm sure you know it beatrice but at the end of the day I'm still someone that is able to see whatever people cannot see in you! hehe!!). Everything about her is annoying to me. But I began to like her while doing God's work. We went for Sarawak mission trip together. Althought we weren't in the same group but we were roomies for the first night I think. From that day onwards, I like her so so so so much!!!!! That why la.. Don't judge a book by its cover, I learnt my lesson. =) Lets move on, after that we began to hang out together, go shopping together (the last time I went shopping was with her too!), go to the toilet together all the time and even whined together. You know what Beatrice? You are beautiful and very talented in so many areas. You can dance, play the keyboard well, and most importantly you have a beautiful heart! That's really all you need. =) don't look down on yourself (..sendiri also like that some more wanna advice people -_-"). I know Beatrice.. We always feel like we are the leftovers. But it's alright, you have me and I still have you! I really thank God you are part of my life in my life. Nono!!! I thank God you made my life more exiciting and thank Him for sending a friend like you to me!!! At least now I have someone to call when I'm depressed, someone to call when I'm happy and I share all my problems with you!!! One last thing, I love your sporting-ness!!!! Keep it up!!

Christine and Beatrice, both of you mean a lot to me. Both of you brighten up my life in your own ways. I'm really grateful. Thank you for choosing me as your friend in spite of my anti-social-ness. May God bless both of you abundantly!! Take care!!!!

One more thing, sometimes I really hate the mirror. It makes me look super ugly. When I was in college this morning, the mirror spoiled my day. Then like that la.. I emo all the way from 11 until finaly at 6.30pm, the mirror at home made my day! =D Really spoiler!!!! But it also reminded me that there are ups and downs in life. The same person and thing that made you happy can make you eventually sad and vice versa.

Can't think of a title again!

2010-09-18T22:01:00.002+08:00

I don't want to be a sad person but why am I sad almost all the time when I'm out from my house. Maybe I shouldn't step out of the house to stay happy alll the time!!! There's someone that I really wanna talk to but my mind tells me not to cos it's not the right thing to do. I'm really under depression these few days, but not serious wan la. I call everyone I can think of, eventually not many answered and they didn't even return my calls. Sad.. Maybe one day I'll die of depression!

Me : Mumy I'm depressed
Mum : Crazy wan ah both of u? Just now little girl(my lil sis) now you! Really sisters!
Me : Mumy I'm really depressed
Mum : I cannot hear.

Even mum doesn't wanna entertain me. I'm just annoying I know. But people really depressed ma!
Just now I was so sad, so I called my friends and finally someone answered the call. I didn't share my problems with her neither did I tell her anything. I know I can overcome this very fast, just give me another month and I'll be done with it. But I feel comforted with her on the phone with me. =) not long after that she text me saying that she's sad. I really don't know how to help, because I don't even know what to say to myself that's in the same position. But I really wanna let her know that, the reason why I can get over everything fast all the time is because I choose to. The choice is in your hand. Yaya.. I know before that I took almost four years but I learnt my lesson. You really have to try! =) I pray that God will free you from you pain! At the same time, I really hope God will send someone to me now.

There goes another day of my life.

Confession!!

2010-09-17T17:52:00.002+08:00

It's another day. Today I studies a bit more. I was supposed to at least finish Part A of one past year paper but I didn't. It's still better than nothing. I was so distracted so *tada*, as u can see, I'm here onlining!

Yesterday I started reading the bible again after backsliding terrible for about 9 months. And I chose the book of Matthew, again. I'm always with that book. And for the first time I find it interesting. So I finished chapter 1 and half of chapter 2 until dad calls me to help him up with some stuffs and that's it for the day. At least I read something! Okay that's not the point, the point is everyone has a choice(not all the time but most of the time I guess). As for me, it's my choice whether to just read the bible for the sake of reading or I can choose to read it slowly with the intention to know God more!

I remembered what Pastor Willard told me. "Christianity is not always about the heart, it's also about the mind." Since we know the truth, it's our choice, whether to accept or turn away from the truth. If we choose to accept the truth, then put it into practice(e.g read the bible, listen to sermons, pray etc..), and slowly, we will began to love God". Because we cannot love someone without knowing that someone. There's a song by Savage Garden "I know I love you before I met you....(and I don't know the rest of the lyrics. haha!)" sounds romantic but I think it doesn't make sense. I also remember one pastor said "Our love for God is determined by how much we read the bible". In other words it also mens that we have to know a person to love that person.

Let me clarify here, I'm not a strong christian at the moment but I'm sure I'll be one day. Ever since lifegame ended, I have been thinking about my walk with God. I have turned away from him for the past 9 months. I was really confused at that time and I hope that someone somewhere could give me an answer. I didn't attend church and I was annoyed everytime I received text messages or calls form church or my christian friends. Worst of all, I didn't pray because I asked myself why pray when I don't have the heart?? The biggest problem was I started wrongly. I started going to church for the wrong purpose and it went on and on until I finally gave up. I was so frustrated with myself and God! So now I'm starting all over again. This time I want it to end well. Now I can say that lifegame might not be able to change our life entirely but in some ways,

LIFEGAME IS REALLY A LIFE-CHANGING GAME!!!

I still haven't found the motivation to add colours into my life. I'm living life the so-called right way. I'm behaving myself. I'm at home most of the time doing my own stuffs. I study(but must of the time I can't concentrate!), I eat when I have to eat, I sleep when I have to sleep and I move when I'm wanted by my parents. Basically, I'm still in control of my life. =D

I have this weird feeling right now and I can't explain what is it........

Depression.......

2010-09-16T21:32:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling quite depressed now.. Suddenly! Actually I don't know is it good to have brains. I have been thinking about some stuffs (I shall not reveal it here!) and it's bothering me now. But if I don't have brains then I can't do so many things. Now I feel left out because when I need someone to talk to, I don't find anyone in my msn list. I barely see anyone online. Ah.. Whatever, what if I found someone to talk to. I don't think I'm able to share my problems. Most of the time I'll be so serious when I wanna share something with someone but I'll end up sharing another issue. It serves me right for not socializing. Now I cannot find the right person to talk to because my friends are too little. How I wish my phone rings more often. I know this contradicts one of my post. -.-" Oh well, it's part of life and human brains.

Anyway, I guess I'm missing someone out there. This is annoying.. I feel like a failure once again. Not studying because of a stupid reason. Why Gwynne? Why?? Sometimes I hate myself! But it's okay, I'll get over this matter very soon. What a day!!

I Can't Think Of A Title...

2010-09-16T17:37:00.001+08:00

Everyone is lonely in some ways. If you think that nobody reads your blog and nobody understands you, you are wrong because I do! You know my existence but you may not know that I'm catching up with your life. It not interesting but it caught my attention! I'm not sure if it's important to let you know that I care but that doesn't really matters because knowing that God cares and loves you worth more than anything. Right? I'm looking forward to meet you again but I don't know how to let you know. Ah.. Shyness!!!! Sigh.. It's not like I'm in love with you also.. I know if I let you know, we can meet. But will I?? No way!! It takes too much courage. Sigh.. Sigh.. Sighhhhhhhhh........

Everyone has their sad times but that's not wrong. As long as we are able to get out of it after some time and move on with life. I guess I'm wasting too much of my time. I know it but that's not an issue to me that makes it a big big issue. "Time waits for no men"! Aih.. Lets not talk about this. Now I'm feeling so lazy, I wish I have all the time to laze around. I know I'm stupid. Because only stupid people know how to worry but don't know how to take action to patch things up. That's what I'm doing right now. If you ask me am I emo-ing? The answer is, I'm not. I'm just worrying about my studies. Besides my education, I'm still very happy with everything. Take some timeout and think!! How many people out there who do not have have air-conditioner in their homes? Thank God I have!! How many people can stay at home all day long like I do? Thank God I can!! How many have siblings that they can play and spend time with? Thank God I can!!

Thank God For Everything!!!

I have been playing the game my handphone game "Marble". I do that each time I open my books or before I go to bed at night. I guess I'm just too worried about my studies. I didn't have the mood to study ever since coming back from lifegame. This is not the first time! I'm always like that after a wonderful trip to somewhere, sometimes even when it's not a very nice trip. Sigh.. Until today, at this moment I'm still thinking about lifegame. Everything in my head is just LIFEGAME!!! Exams is on the 31st of November and I still couldn't prepare a balance sheet. How come financial accounting is much much tougher than finance and accounting?? I can barely understand anything about the theories that I have learnt before. Argh.. If banging my head on the wall can make me understand better, I will.

TimeToStudy!!! TimeToStudy!!! TimeToStudy!!!

Be Grateful

2010-09-15T18:46:00.000+08:00

Today I'm going to blog about how grateful I feel about few things in my life at this point of time. I may have the habit of whining but I guess that's just my natural reaction. People around usually get me wrong but what can I expect, it's not like I understand anyone totaly though. Okay, I shall get to the main point.

#1 : My Handphone
Honestly, seriously and really, I'm very very thankful for not receiving calls or smses most of the time. I guess I'm too use to living life of my own I don't wish to be interrupted. This seriously proves that I'm an anti-social. But I think the main cause is "avoidance". I'm just staying away from anything that I think may hurt me. All I want is to stay away from the society because it's a dangerous place. I know I can't avoid forever but I'll face it when it's time, but it's definitely NOT NOW!!! Therefore, besides my family, the only person that calls me first for the week was Minee. YouAreTheBestAndTheOnlyOneThatNeverFailsToCatchUpWithMyLifeInSpiteOfYourBusySchedule!!!

#2 : My Home
It's comfortable, cosy, clean(thanx to my mum!^^) and nice!!! It's eveything that I wish for. I love staying at home doing nothing.

#3 : My Education
I'm not the best student, and I never thought of becoming one. All I aim for is that certificate!!!! It's plain torture due to laziness!!

#4 : I'm Not In Love
I'm free like a bird!!! I'm really glad that I'm currently not in love with anyone. Although it wasn't easy but I'm glad I moved on. =D I don't wanna get involved in anything like that now and I pray that I will guard my heart and let God lead that way. All I have to do now is study hard and graduate! Aih..

Btw, I prayed before I went to bed last night and guess what? Today I woke up happy!!!! hehe..

Self-Relisation

2010-09-14T18:03:00.001+08:00

I was reading a friend's blog for hours for the reason that I just knew him. It has been a long time since I was so interested in reading due to boring-ness. I would rather sit there and do nothing then to read!!!!! The last interesting material to read was Clement's blog but now he doesn't blog anymore, but it's I'm glad I found something new. =D

While reading, I realized a few things :

#1 : I Don't Have A Best Friend
I never claim anyone as my best friend because I'm afraid best friend will end up becoming bad-friend. And for the fact that I'm an anti-social, friends that are still hanging out with me are pretty sure to be my friends for life! They are my loyal friends!!!! Thanx girls and guys!!

#2 : I'm One Of God's Masterpiece
I always sure that my exixtence is a mistake, I can't find a reason to live. All I wanted was God to take me to heaven but out of dissapointment, I finally turned away from Him. I choose to live the life that I want until now. Okay la.. Now I think lifegame did change me a lil after all. And the worst of all I'm always dissatisfied about my physical appearance. I think that I'm ugly, imperfect, worst creation of all and the most useless person anyone of you can ever meet in ths world. BUT.. Now I'm grateful with who I am regardless of all the imperfections that took place. =) And I'm not useless, I'm still good at stuffs like washing the dishes and scrubbing the toilet. Woish, proud-nya!!! =D

#3 : I'm Think It's Time
I think it's time for me to come back and start believing in God once again. I can't guarantee that I won't make the same mistake again, but this time I will learn to start off the correct way. I'm stuck at the crossroad for a long long time thinking whether to lead a life with or without God. I can't decide on the path that I should take due to the circumstances that I know I will and must face. I'm still afraid and unsure about what I should do, but I think I already have a rough idea of it.

#4 : My Life Is Not Interesting At All
I'm not complaining, but it just struck me. I guess no one would be interested in my life even if I pay them to listen. Seriously!!! I don't shop, I barely step out of the house for entertainment purposes, I don't go online often, etc.. I'm no different from my parents childhood life or maybe my grandparents childhood life?? T.T Once again, I'm not complaining!! It's just self-realisation.

Btw, I'm online for 4 hours today. I broke my record for the year!! hehe!!!

Lifegame and The Game of Life.

2010-09-13T17:42:00.002+08:00

Frankly, lifegame didn't really impacted my life. But at least I started thinking about my spiritual life and I know I have to make a decision. Everyday is a tough day. At times I really wanna give up. Hopefully everything will come to an end, but deep inside I know that future is ahead of me and I have so much to hope and dream for. Or am I already in the future, just that I don't realized??

All I wanted is to live happilly and peacefully. I never wanted material things desperately like everyone around me do. I'm contented with the things that I have, honestly. I wouldn't even spend a penny getting an extra pair of shoes of the same category or anything that I already own. All I need is a day off from mental stress. Two more years to go and I will be done with studies. I know what is coming my way and more than I could imagine if I choose to climb the corporate ladder.

I was so sad when I had to leave EL Sanctuary after the whole lifegame ended. The owner of the place was so nice until I didn't wanna leave. But the biggest cause was I know I have to leave the peaceful place and return to my daily life. When I reached home, I felt to lifeless. Suddenly I didn't have the strength to do anything. Due to the lack of sleep when I was in EL Sanctuary and also because I was not well, that night I slept at 9.30pm(for once!) and get up the next morning at 9.30!! But when I opened my eyes in the morning, I was dissapointed because life goes on! Arghhhh.. I lose my strength again!

If I make the move, will I live better? I did that before, but look at me, I'm still the same old me after 3 years. I'm back to square one. Do I have to always make a choice? Can't I just go with the flow? I don't wanna think, I don't wanna decide, and I don't wanna worry about anything. But the more I dislike something, the more I'm stuck with it?? Is it God who put me through this? Or am I not trying hard enough to get out from this? I don't know! I guess everyone is going through the same thing as I do but they view everything from a different perspective.

I always admire others and look down of myself but I'm glad that I have overcomed it. That's my only achievement after 5 years. I don't like competing and mum said that's the reason why I'm not going anywhere in life. I admit that's one of the reason but I'm happy to be free from all the fights and competitions. I love doing things that I wanna do even when it's not productive. I'm not a person with big dream and I never thought of making big money. That's how I played lifegame too, I lead a proper and honest life, only hoping to earn the amount of money that is needed to survive. And truly, I managed to survive. =D

However, I'm still looking forward to all the good things in spite of the situation that I'm facing now because "The sweet is never as sweet without the sour!"

=(

2010-08-18T12:09:00.002+08:00

I don't know what is coming. I don't have any clues about the future. Many times, we listen to stories but we can only understand something when we go through it. The society is full of lies, criticism and everything bad that you can name. It's complicated! Now I hope I have 10 more years to study. Only when I study I don't have to work. We really need to be mentally strong to be able to survive in our working place because everything is an issue to everyone. That's where patience is needed most!!!! Aih.. Susah betul!!!

July August

2010-07-31T15:51:00.005+08:00

It has been some time since I last updated my blog. I hardly touch the computer. I don't know why I always thought of getting a laptop for myself. A week ago mum asked, "I thought you wanna get a laptop"? Cos I'm finally doing a part time job. But I don't want it anymore. I don't have assignments and I don't really like surfing the net. The only reason why I'm blogging right now is because I'm in church doing nothing.

Since I'm waiting for Beatrice, might as well post something up to pass time. It's the last day of July, my result is coming out in 2 weeks time. Hopefully I can get through the final paper, or else I will be stucked with the same subject for another 5 months. Oh no.. Please don't!

Yesterday was the last day of my part-time job. I'm happy it's over but at time same time I miss everyone. =') As the new semester starts, everyone is back at the place that they should be. It's study time! But Jared is back and he not going back to aussie anymore, he graduated! I'm glad to see him! My 2 months holiday passed like that. I was happy and I'm looking forward to the next semester break. hehe! Class is starting next saturday. Hopefully I will be more hardworking this time! Hee! Today is Eric and Kim Mi's wedding. I'm happy for the couple and hope that their marriage will last forever and ever! Marriage requires lifetime commitment. Looking at my parents, I certainly know that it's not easy to maintain a marriage. Today is a good day! Byeeeee July and welcome August!

You are my strength when I'm weak,

You are the treasure that I seek,

You are my all in all...... (nice song! =D)

July

2010-07-03T15:57:00.002+08:00

Today I had lunch with a new friend. I have spoken to her before but finally we could meet up. I really had a great lunch. In spite of the knowledge that she has in many areas, I didn't feel the pressure talking to her. =) Another 15 days to our Penang trip. I'm not sure how am I feeling. I don't really want to go anymore but I know this may be our last trip together. Honestly, I no longer looking forward to the trip. Hopefully everything will be okay! The exam pressure is back. I don't like!!! It's July! It's July! Terrible classes!!!! Because of the weekends classes, I will be stuck at home when my family are going to KK and Phuket Island. Nooooooooooooo! It's very sad to be left behind everytime.

HOliday!!!!!!

2010-06-28T13:32:00.002+08:00

Semester break is always the best!!!!!! I did so many nice stuffs after exam. My plans worked. =D My holiday started with church camp! Camp was awesome and the speakers (this time we had 2 speakers which is a couple) testimonies really touched my heart.

And I'm really really really happy that Beatrice managed to go for camp! I'm quite lazy to blog in detail cos there's so many things about camp! So, yeah! That's all about camp. hehe! Then my next stop was my uncle's house. As usual, makan. The food was good because my aunt is a good cook! Love it!! Another reason is because I'm really sick of the food here. T.T My cousins and uncle also took me out for more good foods! hehe! By the way, I went to the new Jusco. It's very big and very nice! And swmming. Hehe.. So I'm back here on the 20th of June. And I'm going for another trip to penang with Minee, Pui Yan and Alvina on the 17th next month. Can't wait.. hehe!

Life Of A Student!

2010-06-04T22:02:00.004+08:00

Today is a good day, I had so much fun. I went for breakfast with Minee and Alvina in the morning and had lunch and then movie with Cat and Kathy. Today is really really awesome. Breakfast was breakfast la, but it has been quite long since the three of us has a meal together. I don't remember when was that. But it was nice! =D Then I had lunch with Cat and Kathy in Kim Gary and we watched the movie "Killer". It's an action plus comedy movie. I laughed my lunges out during the movie. Hahahhahahahhhahaaahahaha!

Both of them are my classmates for about one year plus but this is my first time going out with them. I didn't know the gathering would be so much fun. And Cat was so sweet to pass me her past year questions and study manual for the subjects that I will be taking in the next semester. Thank u my dear friend! =D I thought I can have fun the whole month before the semester starts but Cat told me not to wait any longer. I better listen to both of their advices! That means no long break for me. I should start by the end of the week because I don't wanna memorize law sections from the very beginning again, since everything comes from the Companies Act.. I better be consistent! I will still go for mr trips but I can't leave my books aside entirely. By the way, Minee gave me a really cute gift from aussie. I never liked softtoy pencil case but this time, it's different! Thanx sweetie! I love it..

It's over It's over!

2010-06-03T16:43:00.002+08:00

Finally I can blog again.. Yay! Exam is over but there's bad news. The paper is quite difficult. I wonder what will my result be this time. I'm actually quite worried. Never mind about that. No more exam talk. Now I just wanna have all the fun! I need to recharge first! Hehe.. Well, I isolated myself from all entertainments for 2weeks except for the tv. So torturing! I didn't go out with my friends at all. But at least I still have my best friend, the tv!

Holiday Plans!!!

2010-05-24T13:43:00.006+08:00

I already have my holiday planned. Hehe! Church camp will be on the 12th-15th of June.. I think la. Around there. Since it's in Malacca, I'm gonna go straight to my uncle's house after the camp. I'm gonna stay there for a week. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll get my hair permed there, probably highlight too. It's way cheaper than doing it here. Hehe.. Hopefully I don't have to come back earlier. Can't wait!!! Alvina's exam should be over by then. Then again.. Lets have a trip to somewhere! =D holiday will go on and on until next semester starts. Ohh.. I gotta stop dreaming now. Exam is next week. I'm still living life the same. I never study extra as though it's just some monthly test in school. Aiyo.. At this point, I'm not so pressured anymore, but I'm quite worried. Oh well.. It's like that la..

PleaseEndSoonPleaseEndSoonPleaseEndSoon!!!

Bad weather + Unhealthy foods = ??

2010-05-18T13:33:00.005+08:00

The weather is terribly hot!!!! *screams* Stepping out of the house when the sun is up is killin me! I wish to be in the air-conditioned room every single second!! Plus lately I cannot find lots of things. Searching up and down in and out with the heat really drives me up the wall. I eat a lot! Pure eating without much exercising. I feel like munching something all the time. And I feel hungry almost all the time. I eat lots of junk foods too. I wonder how is my health condition. hmm.. That's what happens when exam is just around the corner! haha!

Happiness

2010-05-12T13:24:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty happy lately.. No more torturing days in my life. Happy and sad times, but I can get over the sad part very fast. I guess I have a balance and healthy lifestyle now, except for my sleeping time la.. I watch 3 hours of tv everyday, I study about 3 to 4 hours too. haha! I'm not feeling scared of exam now because I normally feel it when I'm in the examination hall. hehe! That very moment when I find my table, my heart will start pumping fast and suddenly I get stomachache. But everything will be okay when it's time to start writing. =) Anyway, the week after my exam will be church camp. Can't wait. There's so many things that I can't wait to do after exam. First of all, I wanna go swimming. I wanna swim cukup cukup! haaha!!

Exam! =D

2010-05-10T16:43:00.001+08:00

It's already the 10th of May.. Exam is 3 weeks away. This time I'm exited because the examination venue is in Monash University. =D I remember so well how I sneaked in the last time. About 2 years ago, Mel brought me in and told me to pretend like I'm their student. So I did and I managed to get through the guard! Haha! That time I only visited the library, this time I wanna visit all, it possible la. The good news is my exam is in the morning, so by the time everything is over, it's only about 12.30pm. Emple time for me to walk around. But the bad news is I only have 1 paper this semester. T.T So I only need to go there for one day, unless I wanna go for fun la. Anyhow, I'm still thankful!

Whee-eee-eee!

2010-05-06T15:52:00.001+08:00

It's another day.. I haven't been sleeping well. No matter how hard I try to make myself tired during the day, I can only sleep after 2am. This has been going on for months. I'm not having insomnia. I just need a proper sleeping time. Now I seriously have odd sleeping hours. I sleep at 2++, get up at 6.45 and go back to sleep at 9 and finally get up at 12pm. This is ridiculous! Maybe I should do lots and lots of exercise like, jog for an hour, swim for an hour, sit up 100 times and jump up and down for another 100 times. Then I should be able to sleep by 11 all the way til morning. =D

I haven't watch Ironman 2 yet but at least I'm watching IP Man 2 this sun! Yay!!!!!! By the way, yesterday, Minee and I watched "Love In Rome" in pavillion. It's hilarious with good ending!! There's so many nice movies that I really want to watch. We parked at Sg. Wang and walked all the way to Pavillion because we thought that the parking fee would be cheaper. But guess what?? We parked from 11-4 during weekdays and it costs us RM7!!! What the heck?? Just a reminder, if anyone of you would like to go to Pavillion, just park in Pavillion larh!!!!!!!! Save up all the hassle.

I am still here!

You may not bother about what is going

on in my life but I care a lot for you.

Trying to find out everything

about you all the time.

But I guess I'm not putting so much

effort into your stuffs anymore,

because I think it's time to end it all.

Love, take your lead..

2010-05-03T16:45:00.003+08:00

"Love the heart that hates you

But do not hate the heart that loves you.

For the world you might be someone,

But for someone, you might be the world!"

Many many years ago, my brother showed me a text message, as above. It was quite catchy at the beginning. I read it over and over again but I still didin't get what it means. Prolly because it's a message without comma or full stop and of course that time I was still young. However, it is always in my mind. Lately, it became so meaningful to me. Am I in love? hehe..

Definition of love from the bible:

Love is patient, Love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude,

it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil

but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,

always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 4-7

Sounds good huh? If there's is no storm, or rain or thunder in a relationship then good la! But I don't like thinking of the bad side, I really really don't like. Nobody likes la! Duh.. There is so many ways to define love. Love is beautiful at the beginning, I supposed. But problems are unavoidable. Can we choose not to hurt someone we love? Can we say we dont want to love or be loved? No matter how hard we try to be the best to our loved ones, we will still hurt them in a way for being too good.It's very difficult to argue on this matter. Everything is very complicated no matter how we try to simplify it. So just go with the flow la! Hopefully everything will be better tomorrow because everyday is a new day! =D

Stress!

2010-04-30T19:03:00.003+08:00

This is my second post in 2 hours. I rather stay under the sun at 3pm clearing the backyard than staying in the air-cond room studying. I have this so-called problem. When exam is getting nearer, I will be more and more reluctant to study, but at the same time I will be more and more scared. It's basically stress!!!! I have to admit that I'm stressed up!!!! Tomorrow is the first day of may. Oh no.. Exam is one month and few days away. I just cannot understand why 1 paper is equivalent to 3 papers.

Time..

2010-04-30T17:38:00.002+08:00

Everytime you feel happy, sad, angry, frustrated, etc., remember that you are not alone. So many people out there are feeling the same thing. Don't always think that you are the worst out of the worst!! God will only give us something when He knows that we can handle it!

"Time can heal all wounds". I believe! Some people might think it's not true and that's because they need lots and lots of time. A year or 2 is very long but they need to know that they may need to give themselves 4 or 5 years to get over their sadness.Most of the people know how it feels to be heartbroken waiting for something that is impossible. Nobody likes that feeling, me too! Waiting is so tiring and torturing. Want to give up but are unwilling to give up.Want to move on but unable to move on. Want to take a step forward but don't dare. Want to stop thinking but that's when one thinks most. Everything is in a mess when one procrastinates. Everything is very simple but our feelings are making things difficult for ourselves. Sigh... That applies to me too! Wish that it will come to an end soon!

Emotions

2010-04-29T16:24:00.003+08:00

As you can see, it's an old picture uploaded by Wee Ping on facebook. If I'm not mistaken it's a trip to cameron highlands. I feel weird. And a lil bit embarrast. haha! but I still like the pic la. All the memories we had. I remembered borrowing a pair of jeans from minee because I didn't bring enough of pants. =P I wish I can tell you all that I want to say. I'm missing you so much but there's nothing that I can do. I have so many things to say but I don't think I can because I might destroy our friendship. Anyway, I will be going to swim in awhile. Kinda excited.. hehe! It's really nice to be in water.. Can't wait!!!!!!! =D

More time with lesser work or more work with lesser time?

2010-04-28T19:13:00.006+08:00

Is it better to have more free time with lesser loads of work, or lesser free time with more loads of work?? I think it's good either way. Being too busy is a problem but being too free is also a problem. I've tried both!And of couse my choice is to have more free time. Duh.. Everyone wants timeout for themselves. By the way, I just noticed that at degree level I have to complete part 1 subjects before I can proceed to part 2. That means next semester will be really tough cos I have to take 4 subjects. I have never tried taking

4 subjects at one go before but I don't think I have a choice if I want to graduate latest by the end of 2011. I can only leave it to God! =) This semester is such a relaxing semester for me but torture is on its way. =/ few more months for me to enjoy life. I will really appreciate it man! After all minee will be off to singapore before my next semester starts. So now I can hang out with her till the maximum cos after this no more, since she's already like my other half! ahahhaaa!! After some problems that came along the way, I still have to admit that she's the best! Sorry for all my wrongdoing. I'm sorry to make you sad and disappointed. Honestly, I have so much to say but words don't seem to come out when I see u. *tearing* Anyway, take care!!!

Beautiful Dinner

2010-04-26T17:00:00.002+08:00

The dinner 2 days ago with my ex-schoolmates/classmates was awesome. Until now, I can still think of it and laugh. hehe! Dinner followed with tong sui. Yummy!!! The pictures were uploaded in facebook. Nice friend, nice environment, nice chatting and crapping session and nicely taken photos. Credit to out dear full-time camera man, Jin Tat! And of course our part-time camera woman, Wee Ping! hehe!! As usual, being the one holding the camera means there's lesser opportunity to be in the pictures, but I'm sure he don't mind! =D Thank u! I didin't know the gathering would be so fun since we haven't met each other for so long. I have never really talked to Wee Ping and Kevin since after form 5. That's soooo many years ago. Everyone changed! It's really cool to meet them again. I'm really looking forward to the next gathering that I don't know when. Take care til we meet again! =D

=D

2010-04-24T13:02:00.002+08:00

It's been quite some time since I attended my church's homelife. Yesterday I joined one of the them. Quite nice, especially the ice-breaker part! So much of laughing because of confusion. Really nice! hhehe.. Don't know why lately I'm so reluctant to attend any religious activities. I only enjoyed YAZ Nite and the drama in GTPJ during easter this year, cos IT'S DRAMA!!! =DDDDDD It's always nice to watch nice stuffs. Lately I procrastinate so much. Quite bad in handling situation though. I need help in certain areas as I'm doing very badly and it's getting worst by now. I know that having a mentor means allowing someone to get involved in my daily life so that he/she can guide me and make sure I'm taking the right path. That also means I need to be really honest and transparent to that person in order to get help. This indirectly means I cannot live my way all the time anymore. Argh.. I don't like I don't like!!! But I really think I need a mentor. Have a few person in mind and I'm sure they will help so much. Besides that during the past 4 months, I have learned so much about friendship, or to be more precise, human relationships. This is the most difficult area in my life so far. Too much to learn!

Update

2010-04-12T16:44:00.001+08:00

Why are you making me worry? Why are you driving me up the wall? Why are you always in my mind? Why can't I dump you aside? Why? Why? My notes and past year papers.. Hee!!! Lately, I have quite a number of things to do, at least not as free as before. =D I want to be busier but I think the only way is to study more. But... But that's the last thing that I want to do. I love knowledge but I don't like to memorize stuffs. I went swmming yesterday, finally I did some exercise after a long long time. Ooh.. Lazy bump! I didn't know swimming at night could be so nice! =D Can't wait to go again!

Wish Own Lose

2010-03-27T00:53:00.001+08:00

So this is how it feels like to want, own and finally lose something. Before that I hoped I could go online everyday, then finally one day I got to go online. Unfortunately that joy only lasted for about 3 months. One week ago I was forbidden from using the computer at home.. Sigh.. So now I can only stare at the computer each time I pass by. =/ However, if I look at this situation from a different angle, I'm actually so blessed to be able to try the feeling of going online anytime I like, compared to some other people that do not even have the chance to experience what I've experienced. Although it's only a small thing but I it's something that I have to be thankful. Actually this feeling is the same like loving someone deeply. When I am in love, I wish I can talk and see the person I love everyday. When I'm able to do that, of course I'm happy. For instance, when he text me or ask me out for a drink. Than could be my happiest moment ever. But when he stops sending me messages then I will feel so uneasy and unhappy. So it's all about getting what u want and lose it later. Sigh... This is life!!!

Back From Bentong

2010-03-15T22:37:00.007+08:00

It always different when I'm at home. I don't know what is lacking. Emptiness and loneliness all the time. Just now I drove out to do some stuffs, after getting the stuffs done, I didn't feel like going home. I wish I could stay out all night long. I called up a couple of friends but they were busy. Sigh.... I just don't find anything attractive lately. I like nothing and nothing likes me. It's so saddening man! I wonder what can attract me?? The Bentong Retreat is over. Although going to this retreat is the last thing I wanted to do but at I'm proud that I did something I dislike greatly. It's not so bad after all even though I'm the only young feller! During the retreat, we had to do our personal devotion based on Psalm 139. This chapter is not something new to me as I had to write an essay about it during YES camp. This chapter tells us how much God knows our heart, thoughts, everything we desire, etc. This chapter is a beautiful scripture but it didn't really touch my heart. To me, the scripture is just a scripture, it's not alive! Like I said, I like nothing.

Gwynne ah Gwynne, why is your heart as hard as stone???

To You The Night Shines As Bright As Day.

Darkness And Light Are The Same To You.

Psalm 139:12

=((((((

2010-03-13T23:29:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow I will be going to Bentong for some prayer meeting. Sigh.. Why why?? I don't really have the heart to go, until now I haven't started packing yet. Whatever la, as long as I grab some shirts!!! The weather is hot, that makes things worst!! Sigh.... Lately, I have been thinking, what's the point of doing the right thing? To satisfy those around us or "just to obey the rules"? Super annoying!!

Fear = Fail

2010-03-12T16:43:00.004+08:00

The road is long,

So many dreams to run after,

but fear takes over.

Sigh......

Lord, please give me strength!

Give me courage!!

2010-03-09T14:29:00.006+08:00

Knowing that one is being used, yet one is still willing to be used.

Is that love or stupidity?

Different or Still The Same?

2010-03-07T12:36:00.001+08:00

When there's too many things to do, I hope that there's time to rest, some space to breathe. But when there's nothing much to do, I feel bored. I know this is life.. I'm sure I'm not the only one like that. There's so many things to think and plan. Sometimes I thought of changing the way I live but it's not that easy. Things won't go my way. I can plan this and that but at the end of the day I know I cannot run away from the things that I must do! It's very important to make sure I finish what I'm currently doing before I can proceed to another. It's like a procedure that I must follow. Sadly, I haven't been doing whatever that I must do. It has been 3 months since I attended church services. Now I only go when I'm asked to serve. Now I'm doing things my own way. Probably I don't want to do the right thing anymore. One thing that I'm sure is I'm very tired of being a good person. I give up waiting, Now I choose my own way. I don't hang around with my church friends anymore. I don't do bad stuffs like smoking or gambling but I don't do good stuffs too. Last time I love helping others but now no more! I know there's still a piece of me that wants to be a good person but I just don't know how.

Everything has a cause but

I don't know what changed me.

Or maybe I never changed??

Love

2010-03-06T21:28:00.001+08:00

Today I started reading the book Twilight. The book was with me for so many month and finally I started reading but I'm still at the very very beginning. Hehe! Sorry moh moh for the delay and thank you for lending me the book. : ) (no offence but I think moh moh sounds good!) Many times people tend to lose themselves because of LOVE. Relationships are supposed to happy and relaxing where lovers can enjoy loving and being loved! However, they always want to be the best for their other halves. They try very hard to be someone without flaws, such as trying to be very understanding by giving in all the time! Some even do and like what their partners do and like. As time passes by, without realizing, they become someone else. If they become someone better then it's okay, otherwise it's sad case. I can't deny that I was once like that and I can say that this kind of attitude leads a relationship to no where. It's just how I feel and I have no offence!

Some beautiful quotes found from the internet!

Everlasting Friendship

2010-03-05T14:20:00.001+08:00

Moh moh is leaving.. Leaving to Singapore in a few months time. If I say "don't go will you stay?" I won't say it la.. Because nothing is more important than a bright future! Go la go la.. Sigh..... Yesterday I received a call from her saying that she passed her interview and got accepted by Singapore's hospital, suddenly my heart sank..

I wasn't thinking about how is my life going to be after she left. I thought that it's a small thing because I wasn't sad when pui yan left to Miri last year. I guess it's because I know she will be back after 1 year. But for moh moh it's totally a different situation. I have no idea when will she be back or maybe she's not coming back?? I don't know, she's also not sure about what she is gonna do and where is she heading to yet. Mum always tell me "wait till she leaves, then you will feel it". I can't be bothered before that but now.... eeeee.. I don't like this feeling!! I need to accept the fact that we have already grown up. Play times will be lesser and we might not even have much time to meet up in future!! But it's okay. I hope our friendship can remain like my mum and her friend. They were good friends during secondary school and until today they are still good friends!

Moh moh don't cry when you read this!!

: )

Bored!

2010-03-04T21:53:00.001+08:00

I'm bored!! I really want to go out, other than go clubbing.

The things I feel like doing :

1) go to the theme park

2) play badminton

3) swim

4) cycle

5) bowling

6) learn tennis

7) watch movie

8) and anything exciting!!!!

SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-03-04T18:01:00.001+08:00

Finishing Is Better Than Starting, Patience Is Better Than Pride

Ecclesiastes 7:8

Hehe!

2010-03-04T13:13:00.001+08:00

Ever since I results were out, I haven't been touching my books. Before that I was worried that I wouldn't be able to get through all the papers, so I studies because I thought if I fail, I will have more time to study.But I passed all. Really thank God! The bad news is I don't know when I'm gonna start studying again. hee! Now playing time is anytime to me. Last night a friend of mine asked me to go clubbing today. It's the 3rd time he invited me already. How la.. I want to go but I don't feel nice! Besides that, I don't like to dress up but I know I can't just go like that because as a girl it's really bad to be under-dressed. Sometimes I wonder whether am I actually supposed to be a girl. Oopssss!! Hehe!

hehe!

Eat, Play & Watch

2010-03-03T17:45:00.001+08:00

Today I went out with 2 of my secondary school friends. Lunch, bowling and movie. That was something I haven't been doing for ages! It's okay la.. Not super nice but it's not bad either. Probably I need to get to know them better! Throughout the 5 hours there's a bit of awkward feeling and silence. Sigh.. Maybe it's just me? Anyway, bowling was nice! That's the time we talked the most. I've learnt something new, if I didn't get it wrong it's called "Hook Ball".. Something to do with spinning the ball in a certain way. Not easy but it's not that difficult too! I should play bowling more often to master the skill. hehe! A round of applause for Jin Tat for teaching very well! : ) Thank you! Thank you! And we watched "Book Of Eli". It was a nice show, worth watching! There's really lots of nice shows this month! Movies, here I come!

It's Out! Finally it's out!

2010-03-02T20:22:00.002+08:00

Finally!!! Finally my results are out this evening, around 6 something! I passed all 3 papers with 2 merits. Hehe! (didn't expect it though) My hands were shaking when I was logging in to the website! Haha! Thank God for His wonderful grace! After all the hardship and torture, I gain something in return! At least one thing that I have been worrying is now OVER! Phew...

I can't stop smiling! heee!

I will scream if I could!

haha!

So now I'm down to one final paper to complete diploma! My daddy keep on encouraging me to work. Now I should really consider working awhile, maybe 3 months after this final paper. Should really start planning for my future! Here I come my beautiful future!!! (at least now I'm looking forward and not backward!)

Byeeeeeeee CNY 2010

2010-03-01T18:39:00.001+08:00

I like the noises, deco and everything during CNY. I feel so happy and lively. But today is the first day after CNY. Time flies.. CNY reminds me about my childhood and makes me feel like a lil girl. =D However, to me, this year's CNY is not so happening compared to last year's. But never mind la.. There's always next year. Cant' wait! Hehe.. Now, guess what? My results is not out yet.. T_T

FasterComeOutFasterComeOutFasterComeOut

Appreciate!

2010-02-28T23:37:00.001+08:00

"Take things for granted and lose it sooner or later." Nothing lasts forever, if we still don't know to appreciate and preserve what we have, just wait to lose everything. No matter how much a person can be understanding and tolerate, there's still a limit. One day he/she will give up too. That's why we shouldn't test the patience of those beside us. Instead learn how to appreciate them!

Anyway, some jokes from the internet. Just to fill my post with pictures.

Random

2010-02-28T17:53:00.001+08:00

Some stuffs that I did in the past 6 months!

*my dear cousin cooked for me when

I went to his house during CNY*

The Eye Of Malaysia

Tang Lung Festival

Tang Lung Festival = Candlesss!

Isn't it cute? I dropped the egg on the floor. hee!

Were on our way to eat the famous Har Mee in PJ!

At home..

*guessguessguess*

During CNY!

Vitagen!

From left : Wen Jun's, Mine, Yap's..

Minee's Idea!

: )

Acceptance

2010-02-28T11:47:00.001+08:00

*found this picture from the internet*

I believe ONE of the reason why people is getting involved in homosexuality is because they couldn't find acceptance from the opposite gender. Acceptance is very important! When a person faces rejection too many times, I'm sure he/she will turn to somewhere else. Sometimes I don't know whether homosexuality is right or wrong.. It's a dilemma! Sigh..... Now everyone is judging everyone. It's painful to be judged, make fun of and insulted all the time. Most of the people only see what they what they want to see and not what they can see. There's so many people out there waiting to be seen and accepted and respected. Unfortunately, most of the time we refuse to give them even a lil bit of respect, what more love! God created all of us and we are His masterpiece. Since we came from the same Master, why must we differentiate ourselves with living standards, status, personality, dressing and so on??

by Joanne Kathleen Rowling

It's coming.....

2010-02-25T18:10:00.002+08:00

WHEN IS MY RESULT COMING OUT???? It's already thursday and tomorrow is a public holiday. Need to wait til monday.. and I'm not even sure whether is it gonna come out on monday. I'm scared but I wanna know the results! Scared to fail.. =S BUT.. Thank God tomorrow I'm going to genting!! At least I won't feel so restless til saturday.

= D

2010-02-24T16:21:00.001+08:00

I just read a teacher's blog and his latest post was about reading and doing the same thing over and over again to be a top student, because studying is basically about understanding and MEMORIZING!!

I totally agree with it but it's not easy though. I remembered how well I did for my Pengajian Perniagaan paper when I was at lower 6 due to the effort I put in to memorize whatever I can see from the notes. ( I was once a hardworking student.. =D hehe!) Thank God I started studying wholeheartedly! I'm proud of myself too. Hopefully I won't stop somewhere again! haha.. = )