No meaningful life, no dream came through, nothing to hope.
Why still alive? No guts to commit suicide.
Why no guts to commit suicide? Not sure about ending up in heaven.
First reason to stay alive?? Get conformation about ending up in heaven.
Second reason to stay alive? Living for others.
Why living for others? Received too much, need to pay back.
If that is so, it's really miserable.
Die cannot, don't die cannot. Plain torture!!
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